Teaching maths through time

[METALDAN]

1. Teaching Maths In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100..
His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.
What is his profit?

2. Teaching Maths In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is 80% of the price.
What is his profit?

3. Teaching Maths In 1990
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80.
How much was his profit?

4. Teaching Maths In 2000
A logger sells a truckload of timber for £100.
His cost of production is £80 and his profit is £20.
Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

5. Teaching Maths In 2005
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habit of animals or the preservation
of our woodlands.
Your assignment: Discuss how the birds and squirrels might feel as the
logger cut down their homes just for a measly profit of £20.

6. Teaching Maths In 2009
A logger is arrested for trying to cut down a tree in case it may be
offensive to Muslims or other religious groups not consulted in the
felling licence. He is also fined a £100 as his chainsaw is in breach of
Health and Safety legislation as it deemed too dangerous and could cut
something.. He has used the chainsaw for over 20 years without incident
however he does not have the correct certificate of competence and is
therefore considered to be a recidivist and habitual criminal. His DNA is
sampled and his details circulated throughout all government agencies. He
protests and is taken to court and fined another £100 because he is such an
easy target.

When he is released he returns to find Gypsies have cut down half his wood
to build a camp on his land. He tries to throw them off but is arrested,
prosecuted for harassing an ethnic minority, imprisoned and fined a further
£100. While he is in jail again the Gypsies cut down the rest of his wood
and sell it on the black market for £100 cash. They also have a BBQ of
squirrel and pheasant and leave behind several tonnes of rubbish and
asbestos sheeting.

The forester on release is warned that failure to clear the fly tipped
rubbish immediately at his own cost is an offence. He complains and is
arrested for environmental pollution, breach of the peace and invoiced
£12,000 plus VAT for safe disposal costs by a regulated government
contractor.

Your assignment: How many times is the logger going to have to be
arrested and fined before he realises that he is never going to make £20
profit by hard work, give up, sign onto the dole and live off the state for
the rest of his life?

7. Teaching Maths In 2010
A logger doesn’t sell a lorry load of timber because he can’t get a loan to
buy a new lorry because his bank has spent all his and their money on a
derivative of securitised debt related to sub- prime mortgages in Alabama
and lost the lot with only some government money left to pay a few million
pound bonuses to their senior directors and the traders who made the biggest
losses.

The logger struggles to pay the £1,200 road tax on his old lorry
however, as it was built in the 1970s it no longer meets the emissions
regulations and he is forced to scrap it.

Some Bulgarian loggers buy the lorry from the scrap merchant and put it back
on the road. They undercut everyone on price for haulage and send their cash
back home, while claiming unemployment for themselves and their relatives.
If questioned they speak no English and it is easier to deport them at the
governments expense. Following their holiday back home they return to the UK
with different names and fresh girls and start again. The logger protests,
is accused of being a bigoted racist and as his name is on the side of his
old lorry he is forced to pay £1,500 registration fees as a gang master.

The Government borrows more money to pay more to the bankers as bonuses are
not cheap. The parliamentarians feel they are missing out and claim the
difference on expenses and allowances.
You do the maths.

8. Teaching Maths 2017
أ المسجل تبيع حموله شاحنة من الخشب من اجل 100 دولار. صاحب تكلفة
> الانتاج 80 من
> الثمن. ما هو الربح له؟= 20

[marravtr]

very good, but also very true!!

[AMCQ46]

[Twinpotter]

[tony.mon]

Tried to tell this one down the pub last night, all went well until the punchline.
Turns out one of my friends can't speak Farsi.

[Darknomad]

Tried to tell this one down the pub last night, all went well until the punchline.
Turns out one of my friends can't speak Farsi.

[lloydie]

Very good

[Darknomad]

Being a Police officer in the UK.

Question:
How do you tell the difference between a British Police Officer, and Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?

Answer:
Pose the following question:
You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
When suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.You are carrying a Glock 17, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

UK POLICE OFFICERS
Answer: Well, that's not really enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 999?
Why is this street so deserted? Maybe we need to raise taxes, have a fun day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behaviour?
If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed when he falls over running away, knocks his head and kills himself?
If I shoot him, and lose the court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and I will lose my family home?


AUSTRALIAN OFFICERS
Answer: BANG!


AMERICAN OFFICERS
Answer: BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG. Click

[Kev L]

Two bangs short on the American. 17 in the clip & 1 up the pipe (ooh err missus). Other than that very true.

[uptonpark64]

don't know wether to laugh because it's funny- or cry because it's true

[storminateacup]

You missed some important points from the English cop version. Firstly before you can use your firearm you need to go through the 1 1/2 hr risk assessment process, then you have to wait for a dozen other officers to arrive at the rendezvous and get kitted up then you need a senior officer Chief Superintendent or higher to authorise firearms use. Now assuming that you aren't dead by now and you manage to shoot and kill your assailant, you will now be suspended from duty until the PCC have investigated the case, and the relatives have finished sueing you and the force. This will probably take several years and cause you to have a nervous breakdown. Oh and they will never allow you to carry a firearm again.

[AMCQ46]

You missed some important points from the English cop version. Firstly before you can use your firearm you need to go through the 1 1/2 hr risk assessment process, then you have to wait for a dozen other officers to arrive at the rendezvous and get kitted up then you need a senior officer Chief Superintendent or higher to authorise firearms use. Now assuming that you aren't dead by now and you manage to shoot and kill your assailant, you will now be suspended from duty until the PCC have investigated the case, and the relatives have finished sueing you and the force. This will probably take several years and cause you to have a nervous breakdown. Oh and they will never allow you to carry a firearm again.

would make a great joke if it wernt true.

The Bike Cops I ride to France with tell tales of being suspended if a fleeing suspect gets injured, and they [the cop, not the scrote in the stolen car who got hurt when he lost control of the car while being chaced by the cops] are treated as if they are guilty till they can prove they are innocent. and at least 2 of them have been signed of with stress caused by this. These boys are late 40s and 50's and they dont have a lot of good words for the way the Force is run now, and how people are treated.

can we go back to policing as it is depiced in the TV show "Life on Mars", and get rid of the PC rules and nanny state?

[Darknomad]

i cut n paste that from my fishing forum and then cut n paste this one to that thread
same reaction lol

[Jaglifter]

Hilarious, but sadly true.

[denisblackvtr]

So so true it's almost unbelievable..