Hammer Time...

Got any jokes? Add your favourite ones here, for all to share :)
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MacV2
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Hammer Time...

Post by MacV2 »

Now having a large collection of hammers meself & knowing that a few of you guys appreciate a good hammer or two...

This I found quite amusing...Thank you Viz nutters... :thumbup:

Image


No time wasters with mallets... :lol: :lol:
Last edited by MacV2 on Sat Jan 05, 2019 8:55 am, edited 1 time in total.
Making up since 2007, sometimes it's true...Honest...
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AMCQ46
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Re: Hammer Time...

Post by AMCQ46 »

i am replying to one of the ads right now
AMcQ
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Varastorm
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Re: Hammer Time...

Post by Varastorm »

Sure they don't mean Herpes :lol:
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TheGingerBeardMan
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Re: Hammer Time...

Post by TheGingerBeardMan »

OOOOOH - Hammer Porn!!

I too have applied to the Cinderella advert.

Heck! - I even sent my profile pic featuring my best friend (second only to a dog)!

This is "Here Boy!" - He's a 29 year old Gilpin, and may only weigh in at 2 1/4 lbs - but he's stood by my side a few times and never let me down...

And yes, he has a short ''leash'' round my wrist so he doesn't stray when recalled... :lol:

Image

Ok - I've shown you mine, now show me yours.....

Is your's bigger, longer, wider? Or is it tiny, but it's how you use it that matters?
If it ain't broken...f*ck about with it until it is.

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MacV2
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Re: Hammer Time...

Post by MacV2 »

Is it me but does the first ad...Proffesional Gentleman from Leeds ring any bells...

Appart from lying about his age that has Flattie written all over it !... :lol: :lol: :lol:
Making up since 2007, sometimes it's true...Honest...
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TheGingerBeardMan
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Re: Hammer Time...

Post by TheGingerBeardMan »

Did anyone spot the telephone number in the first advert under ''Hammers for sale/ wanted???

01 811 8055

That was the number for Noels Multi Coloured Swap Shop.

Which, for our younger readers, was not anything to do with the slave trade back in the old days, but was in fact a ''buy and sell your unwanted toys'' programme on the BBC back in the 1980s...

And just to be really annoying (and hopefully a tad informative), the JEREMIAH 10:4 relates to the fantasy book called ''the bible'', where it says under that chapter: They decorate it with gold and silver and then fasten it securely with hammer and nails so it won't fall over. Hence the hammer reference.

It has nothing to do God talking to Jeremiah on the CB radio. If it was...it would have read: Jeremiah 10:4 -good buddy!.

Don't bother buying the book to read though....the guy dies in the end. (major spoiler alert??)
If it ain't broken...f*ck about with it until it is.

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lloydie
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Re: Hammer Time...

Post by lloydie »

AMCQ46 wrote:i am replying to one of the ads right now
Image
This one ?
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MacV2
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Re: Hammer Time...

Post by MacV2 »

Image

A hammer for all occasions...

My fave...ex MOD, nice weight, fiberglass shaft...
Last edited by MacV2 on Sat Jan 05, 2019 8:57 am, edited 1 time in total.
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tony.mon
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Re: Hammer Time...

Post by tony.mon »

I have a hide mallet, and it's very good.










I can never find it.
It's not falling off, it's an upgrade opportunity.
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TheGingerBeardMan
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Re: Hammer Time...

Post by TheGingerBeardMan »

tony.mon wrote:I have a hide mallet, and it's very good....
I can never find it.
That joke's worthy of a laugh! :lol:

I had 2 hide mallets. One hide both sides (well used and was my Fathers before I got it), and the other was copper on one side and hide on t'other (brand new and never used).

BOTH were nicked from me tool box years ago, along with a socket set I had. Was working in me garden, (enclosed by a fence), and when I left for 15 mins to go inside for a coffee, I came out and the bloody things were away by some sharp eyed, light fingered, fleet-footed scrote. I didn't think I needed to haul it all back into the house for the sake of 1/4 of an hour, or felt the the need to cover stuff up. It was a quiet house, on a road where you hardly saw anyone.

Why they never just lifted the whole cantilever box beats me. But, I've never replaced my hide mallets and don't have one to this day. Don't think I'd need to use one again. Me cheap rubber mallet does what I need it to do instead.

Anyhoo - I rather like that Bergen rubber dead blow hammer in Macs tool box.... better hide that (bad pun) when I come down....

''hang on GBM....is that a large mallet down yer trousers, or are you just pleased to see me?''

Erm....both Mac.... :lol:
If it ain't broken...f*ck about with it until it is.

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lumpyv
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Re: Hammer Time...

Post by lumpyv »

Well it's cold outside so here's a brace of hammer sImage

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TheGingerBeardMan
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Re: Hammer Time...

Post by TheGingerBeardMan »

Lumpyv posted a pic with a brace of hammers
OOOOH - A ménage à trois!!

Sweeeet. And on a bin lid too. Kinky!

Don't forget that ALL hammers need to feel the love as well! - be they little dainty tack hammers or welding slag chippers.

Here's 2 of my fiberglass ones (for the claw hammer pervs out there). Not that they're used on the bike, but, you never know...I may need to tighten that loose bleed nipple somehow.....

Image

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If it ain't broken...f*ck about with it until it is.

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MacV2
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Re: Hammer Time...

Post by MacV2 »

Dave can you post a pic of a toasted eye please...

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AMCQ46
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Re: Hammer Time...

Post by AMCQ46 »

heres one of fabio doing some chain adjustment with his custom made tool kit
Image
AMcQ
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TheGingerBeardMan
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Re: Hammer Time...

Post by TheGingerBeardMan »

AMCQ46 wrote:heres one of fabio doing some chain adjustment with his custom made tool kit (followed by above posted pic...^)
Luverly! - We've had some good pics of them laying there all sultry n' showing us their best sides,....and now we have action shots!

But I have to ask. I can see the spanner which is self explanatory (no...not Fabio)....but 2 hammers....for a chain?

Was that other one there for back up? or do English hammers work in tag teams?
If it ain't broken...f*ck about with it until it is.

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