World cup

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Gavin
Posts: 163
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2005 8:20 pm
Location: Beverley, East Yorks

World cup

Post by Gavin »

BBC commentary guidelines
1 -Within 1 minute of kick off in the opening match (Germany v Costa Rica), the commentator must mention England.
2 - Regardless of what two teams are contesting the final, England MUST be mentioned within the first minute.
3 - The commentator shall refer to the Falkland Isles in passing at some point in the match if England play Argentina.
4 - Whenever a hat trick is scored, comparisons with Geoff Hurst will be made within seconds of the third goal hitting the net.
5 - Should England wear their red jerseys, then '1966' should be mentioned approximately 20 times.
6 - 1966 will be mentioned approximately 10 times a match, or only on 4 or 5 occasions for matches not involving England.
7 - Prior to the captain of the winning team lifting the trophy, the commentator will mention Bobby Moore. And 1966.
8 - When Germany are playing, they must be referred to as being arrogant by the commentator on at least 14 occasions. This must refer to their style, their passing, their haircuts and their general footballing ability.
9 - Should England play Germany, mentions of Winston Churchill, Dambusters, The Luftwaffe and Adolf Hitler will be compulsory. And 1966.
10 - All Scottish /Welsh/Irish members of our commentary team must continue to refer to England as "we" and "us".
11 - We must ensure that nationalistic stereotypes are adhered to. Of course, the Germans are arrogant. The Spanish are bottlers, The Ivory Coast are fast but bad at defending, The Angolans are disorganised, The Argentineans are cheats and the French are only good because their best players play in England.
12 - For matches not involving England, we must only discuss the players that are playing in England. (eg -Holland v Argentina should be referred to as Van Nistelroy v Crespo).
13 - The mythical "bulldog spirit" phrase should be used as often as possible.
14 - Each match involving England should begin with the phrase "England Expects."
15 - Should any player be involved in an injury that involves the loss of teeth, then references to Nobby Stiles and 1966 are compulsory.
16 - If in doubt, mention 1966.
17 - Praise all of the stunning new stadiums in Germany but emphasise that they lack the presence of Wembley, the spiritual home of football since 1966.
18 - Commentators should feel free to imitate the style of Kenneth Wolstenholme, the hero of 1966.
19 - Should any team feature brothers playing together, then Jackie and Bobby Charlton should be mentioned.
20 - When England bow
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Skatrekker
Posts: 21
Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2002 4:23 pm
Location: Brighton

Post by Skatrekker »

when I last saw this it was part of the rules for a drinking game :

All players must sit in a circle
The play goes anti clockwise
If any of the guidelines 1 -20 are fulfilled the player whose turn it is has to have a drink chosen by the player on their left.
The starting player is the one who by general consensus looks most like Peter Beardsley.
The game is over if the match finishes or only one person is left upright.
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Kitch
Posts: 1548
Joined: Fri Apr 28, 2006 7:05 pm
Location: Lancashire

Post by Kitch »

you could always try the "world cup super hard core" drinking game...

every time somebody kicks the small white round thing, you take a swig...
Voted most likely to be found dead in park bushes following an act of autoerotic asphyxiation.
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