The Guru is Available

[tony.mon]

I have secured the services of a Guru; he is available to offer advice and guidance for any problem, free of charge.
In order to access the service, please email :
vtrguru@gmail.com
and ask your question, keeping it to a paragraph or less- he has a short attention span, and is easily distracted by the shape of clouds, leading to disconnected thought processes, which will lead to rather abstract and potentially unrelated replies.
Or he forgets the question half-way though the answer- no-one is really sure.

Don't post your questions here, only questions emailed to the address given will be considered.

It is fair to say that the Guru is less than worldly wise in the ways of motorcycle engines, focussing for the most part on the Zen aspect of motorcycle maintenance.

Due to the Guru's slightly unusual views I cannot guarantee that a complete solution will be provided in every case, and it is possible that the answers will only be fully understood with much consideration and meditation. But hey, it's free, after all.

The Data Protection Act applies, however please be aware that for quality control purposes the funniest, wittiest and most entertaining questions and answers will be published below in an occasional digest.

Enjoy, and please think responsibly.

[Watty]

Has alcohol been taken Tony

[grumpyfrog]

I think it's stronger than that....

[Wicky]

Can you ask the Guru now I've tuned my CZ to go faster, what can I do to make it handle better?

[youtube][/youtube]

[Bananaman]

Possibly a gallon of unleaded and a match?

[Pete.L]

Ha!
What the Hell is that?

[agentpineapple]

I thought tony was a sex guru.........

[MacV2]

I can report that I have used the Gurus services & was very happy with the results.

A fast service to...obviously it's a bit slow in the office these days...

[VTRDark]

I hope you wore protection.

(:-})

[geodude]

I can report that I have used the Gurus services & was very happy with the results.

A fast service to...obviously it's a bit slow in the office these days...

Same here although I had forgotten the question so when I read the answer I didn't have a clue wtf he was on about!!

[macdee]

really quick question for the guru

if i got the vtr to travel at the speed of light would the head light still work

this does not apply to the blue /yellow/orange/black thingys for obvious reasons