Tosties

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Duffy1964
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Location: Orpington Kent

Tosties

Post by Duffy1964 »

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman,
'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?'

The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie.

The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.

The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the Toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

The next night, the pub is packed.

In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.'

The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down.

The next night there is standing room only in the pub.

Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending.

The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year

In walks the rabbit and says, 'A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.'

The barman says, 'I'm sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties.'

The rabbit looks aghast.

The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says,
'We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.

The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, 'Are you sure I will like it.'

The crowd's bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.

The barman, with a roguish smile says, 'Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you'll love it.'

'Ok,' says the rabbit, 'I'll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.'

The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie.

He then waves to the crowd and leaves....

NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!

One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time.

When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.

The barman says, 'Who are you?

To which he is answered,
'I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.'

The barman says, 'I remember you. You made me famous.

You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.'

The rabbit says, 'Yes I know.'

The barman said, 'I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.'

The rabbit said, 'Yes, you promised me that I would love it.'

The barman said, 'You never came back, what happened?'

'I DIED', said the rabbit.

'NO!' said the barman. 'What from?'

After a short pause, the rabbit said ...

'Mixin-me-toasties
Duffy1964
Yellow 1997 Storm R.I.P. Orange 2000 Streetfighter (Rufus), Red & Silver 1968 Triumph Trophy 650, Blue 2003 Storm Project, Red 2007 Montesa Cota Trials 250 & 1959 BSA D7 175cc Bantam Trials Project
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AMCQ46
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Joined: Mon May 11, 2009 4:54 pm
Location: Worcestershire / Warwickshire border

Re: Tosties

Post by AMCQ46 »

groan ... tumble weeed 8O


i'm a slow reader and that's 2mins of my life I wont get back
AMcQ
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Duffy1964
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Joined: Mon Jul 25, 2011 4:15 pm
Location: Orpington Kent

Re: Tosties

Post by Duffy1964 »

Sorry Al, if it makes you feel any better I did the same


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Duffy1964
Yellow 1997 Storm R.I.P. Orange 2000 Streetfighter (Rufus), Red & Silver 1968 Triumph Trophy 650, Blue 2003 Storm Project, Red 2007 Montesa Cota Trials 250 & 1959 BSA D7 175cc Bantam Trials Project
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alanfjones1411
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Joined: Thu May 21, 2015 3:33 pm
Location: watford

Re: Tosties

Post by alanfjones1411 »

Doh.I guessed what was coming,but I still read it.
SO WHEN DOES THIS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER KICK IN
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TaxiDriver
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Location: The Red Rose

Re: Tosties

Post by TaxiDriver »

FFS,I told that joke to my rabbit and he said, heard that one.......... :lol:
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VTRDark
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Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2012 9:24 pm

Re: Tosties

Post by VTRDark »

Oh my that is an all time low. Huge build up and then it's like a carb cough or silent fart. LOL This joke makes Mac's jokes world class.
==============================Enter the Darkside
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MacV2
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Re: Tosties

Post by MacV2 »

VTRDark wrote: Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:48 am Oh my that is an all time low. Huge build up and then it's like a carb cough or silent fart. LOL This joke makes Mac's jokes world class.
Oh come on it's not that bad... :lol: :lol:
Making up since 2007, sometimes it's true...Honest...
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sirch345
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Re: Tosties

Post by sirch345 »

:lol: :thumbup:

Chris.
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rollingthunderx2
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Location: Hawick, scottish borders on A7

Re: Tosties

Post by rollingthunderx2 »

There is a similar joke but with a duck.
Duck frequents bar, eats sandwich, has a beer, etc.
Barman says, hey, you come in here every day and have the same thing..are you local.
No, the duck says, im working on the building site up the road.

A few days later a circus worker knocks on the pub door, asking if he can put a flyer up...wait a minute till I tell you something, theres a duck comes in here every lunchtime, talks, has a beer, sandwich, and reads a newspaper, we could make a fortune!
Ok says the circus guy, bring him over and we will talk about a fee.

Next day the duck comes in and orders the usual....
The barman tells the duck theres a circus in town and they could get a job there and make lots of money....
The duck looks at the barman like hes mad, has a sup of his pint, and says...a circus.....like a round cloth thing, held up with poles and ropes...
Yes, exactly, says the barman....


The duck cocks an eye at him and says.....
But why the heck would they need a plasterer?????


Boom tish.
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Pete.L
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Location: Bristol

Re: Tosties

Post by Pete.L »

Phew!
Now I know why these aren't in the joke section :crazy:

:wink:
My new ride is a bit of a Howler and I love to make her Squeal
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Kev L
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Location: Hertford, England

Re: Tosties

Post by Kev L »

Heard them both before but they still make me giggle. Then again at my age pissing me pants makes me laugh!!!
:thumbup:
Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero
F3, 954 USD front, K Tech springs, Braced swinger, Penske shock, Six spoke Mockesini wheels, Harris rearsets, QaT, Flywheel diet!, A&L stacks, stick coils, K&N, FP Ti jets, lashings of Ti & CF
tony.mon
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Location: Norf Kent

Re: Tosties

Post by tony.mon »

Kev L wrote: Tue Aug 06, 2019 8:42 pm Heard them both before but they still make me giggle. Then again at my age pissing me pants makes me laugh!!!
:thumbup:
Laughing makes me piss my pants.
Lucky we don't have both problems at the same time.
It's not falling off, it's an upgrade opportunity.
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