VTR Marmite wrote:I was laughing so hard I about pissed myself, in fact a bit of wee escaped. God I sound like a menopausal woman

No, a menopausal woman would have said something like:
I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD I ABOUT PISSED MYSELF, IN FACT A BIT OF WEE ESCAPED. NOW I SUPPOSE YOU'LL BE OFF DOWN THE PUB WITH YOUR SHIFTY MATES ON THAT BLOODY CASH-DRAIN OF A BIKE AGAIN. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU SEE IN IT, BUT THEN I'M ONLY THE ONE THAT HAS TO DO ALL THE WORK, FEED THE KIDS, DO THE SHOPPING, MAKE THE BEDS, CLEAN THE HOUSE (continues until you leave the house to go to the pub with your shifty mates, which you weren't going to do until the ranting started again).
Ah, well, time to go off to play squash with my shifty mate before mine comes home.
'spect we'll have to drop into the club for a few to "rehydrate" afterwards, that'll go down a treat with SWMBO.....
It's not falling off, it's an upgrade opportunity.