Bikini bike wash / Dyno day 2nd August 2015
- TheGingerBeardMan
- Posts: 977
- Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:30 pm
- Location: Aberdeenshire, Scotland
Re: Bikini bike wash / Dyno day 2nd August 2015
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The only time women should be near anything to do with hot soapy water and a sponge, is when there's dishes to be done (Mwahahahaha! )
(Dear feminist: Yes, that probably offended you, as everything else seems to do. But, if yer going to start arguing that us men only use women blahy blah.....well, these women are using their bodies in a sexual way to raise money...but, they are not being forced to do it - they volunteered). So, if any feminists are reading this: don't get all hot under yer blouse....and go make me a sandwich).
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On a more serious note, my neighbour let his young (at the time) daughter wash his car. 2 other kids turned up and joined in helping....
Now, 3 x 10 year olds, only being able to reach up to the windows, dropping the sponges on the road, picking them up, and back to washing the car. I was horrified, I even told the guy next door. He wasn't arsed one bit. "They're just kids" he said.
Erm, yes, kids: farting about with sponges....on a 4 grand used car (only worth a quid today). Needless to say, when the buckets were tipped over when the kids lost interest, the bottom half was partly washed, and the top untouched. There was more water on the kids than the car. The sponges were grey from the picked up road dirt. The owner took the car to the car wash to "get it done properly".
Looked ok when he came back - car still wet. But, when it dried, and the sun hit the paintwork? Oh. My. Gawd. Made worse being a black car. It was like someone had taken a sanding disc to parts of it. Huge dull circles and large up and down scratches.
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I don't see "paddock girls", who have just enough brains to stand in a line holding an umbrella and a number board at the same time (multi-tasking?) being able to wash a bike.
And if they aren't going to use buckets of water (for the damage to paintwork reasons), then BEWARE - they will have HOSES instead.
And that means a dozy bint blasting water in every electrical place and areas where WE wouldn't dream of getting soaked on a bike. They will probably stick the hose in the exhaust and wait till the water flushes out the plug hole "There y'go Sir...we even got the inside of the engine clean for you..that'll be a tenner please...."
So, if yer gonna go get your bike washed by these folk, take a LARGE can of WD40 or ACF50. Or heavily pre-spray yer bike before going if you're gonna let them near it.
Me? A kill-joy? But it's for charity etc etc. Not arsed. I'd still put money in the charity tin, but tell em to leave me bike alone.
The only time women should be near anything to do with hot soapy water and a sponge, is when there's dishes to be done (Mwahahahaha! )
(Dear feminist: Yes, that probably offended you, as everything else seems to do. But, if yer going to start arguing that us men only use women blahy blah.....well, these women are using their bodies in a sexual way to raise money...but, they are not being forced to do it - they volunteered). So, if any feminists are reading this: don't get all hot under yer blouse....and go make me a sandwich).
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a more serious note, my neighbour let his young (at the time) daughter wash his car. 2 other kids turned up and joined in helping....
Now, 3 x 10 year olds, only being able to reach up to the windows, dropping the sponges on the road, picking them up, and back to washing the car. I was horrified, I even told the guy next door. He wasn't arsed one bit. "They're just kids" he said.
Erm, yes, kids: farting about with sponges....on a 4 grand used car (only worth a quid today). Needless to say, when the buckets were tipped over when the kids lost interest, the bottom half was partly washed, and the top untouched. There was more water on the kids than the car. The sponges were grey from the picked up road dirt. The owner took the car to the car wash to "get it done properly".
Looked ok when he came back - car still wet. But, when it dried, and the sun hit the paintwork? Oh. My. Gawd. Made worse being a black car. It was like someone had taken a sanding disc to parts of it. Huge dull circles and large up and down scratches.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't see "paddock girls", who have just enough brains to stand in a line holding an umbrella and a number board at the same time (multi-tasking?) being able to wash a bike.
And if they aren't going to use buckets of water (for the damage to paintwork reasons), then BEWARE - they will have HOSES instead.
And that means a dozy bint blasting water in every electrical place and areas where WE wouldn't dream of getting soaked on a bike. They will probably stick the hose in the exhaust and wait till the water flushes out the plug hole "There y'go Sir...we even got the inside of the engine clean for you..that'll be a tenner please...."
So, if yer gonna go get your bike washed by these folk, take a LARGE can of WD40 or ACF50. Or heavily pre-spray yer bike before going if you're gonna let them near it.
Me? A kill-joy? But it's for charity etc etc. Not arsed. I'd still put money in the charity tin, but tell em to leave me bike alone.
If it ain't broken...f*ck about with it until it is.
TAX: 1st March 2017
MOT: 16th March 2017
INS: 14th March 2017
TAX: 1st March 2017
MOT: 16th March 2017
INS: 14th March 2017
Re: Bikini bike wash / Dyno day 2nd August 2015
GBM....Time for the meds Dave...
Ham & Cheese or a nice Bacon buttie ?
Ham & Cheese or a nice Bacon buttie ?
Making up since 2007, sometimes it's true...Honest...
- bigtwinthing
- Posts: 5577
- Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2012 7:52 pm
- Location: Hampshire
Re: Bikini bike wash / Dyno day 2nd August 2015
take your own magnifying glass okAMCQ46 wrote:they wont be washing my bike, but I might let them soap down my bell end
missing the noise, not the vibes. However never say never!
Re: Bikini bike wash / Dyno day 2nd August 2015
What time will everyone be there then? I'm hoping to get there at the start of the event, just remember to look for the mop
Slowly approaching the more bikes than birthdays achievement
- lloydie
- Posts: 20921
- Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:16 pm
- Location: In the garage somewhere in Coventry
Re: Bikini bike wash / Dyno day 2nd August 2015
I'll be there about 11:40
Re: Bikini bike wash / Dyno day 2nd August 2015
No way would they be getting near my ceramic coated bike bet they use a cheap spounge as well not a nice soft adams wash pad
I'll just sit in a corner watching them wash other peoples and giveing them tips
I'll just sit in a corner watching them wash other peoples and giveing them tips
Ill never be a sell out storm forever
- TheGingerBeardMan
- Posts: 977
- Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:30 pm
- Location: Aberdeenshire, Scotland
Re: Bikini bike wash / Dyno day 2nd August 2015
That's TOO SHORT a video Lloyd.lloydie wrote:https://vimeo.com/135192046
I mean, ffs!!! It looked promising too! .....just got me trousers HALF unzipped, and then it was finished.
If it ain't broken...f*ck about with it until it is.
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- lloydie
- Posts: 20921
- Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:16 pm
- Location: In the garage somewhere in Coventry
Re: Bikini bike wash / Dyno day 2nd August 2015
It was or you was ?!.
- TheGingerBeardMan
- Posts: 977
- Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:30 pm
- Location: Aberdeenshire, Scotland
Re: Bikini bike wash / Dyno day 2nd August 2015
Good question! The video. Yeah, I'll say the video finished too quick. Honest guv.lloydie wrote:It was or you was ?!.
Mind you, not having been laid since March 2006, I reckon if anyone just so much as "brushed me lightly" down there, I'd go off like a 2kg fire extinguisher.....
There would be bugger all left of me to find, and I can picture the walls covered, and just a pair of boots on the floor with smoke coming out...
Fap, fap...Oh. My. Gawd......BOOM!
If it ain't broken...f*ck about with it until it is.
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- bigtwinthing
- Posts: 5577
- Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2012 7:52 pm
- Location: Hampshire
Re: Bikini bike wash / Dyno day 2nd August 2015
ffs buy a Hoover
missing the noise, not the vibes. However never say never!
- TheGingerBeardMan
- Posts: 977
- Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:30 pm
- Location: Aberdeenshire, Scotland
Re: Bikini bike wash / Dyno day 2nd August 2015
WHAT? And rip the damn thing off?bigtwinthing wrote:ffs buy a Hoover
There's no way I'm rummaging about in a dusty hoover bag to find what's left in order to take to the docs to get it sewn back on again!
If it ain't broken...f*ck about with it until it is.
TAX: 1st March 2017
MOT: 16th March 2017
INS: 14th March 2017
TAX: 1st March 2017
MOT: 16th March 2017
INS: 14th March 2017