Go on, confess all!
What's your biggest, most shameful bodge?
What's your biggest, most shameful bodge?
Further to my CCT changing woes- see Workshop (stunningly recovered!) how about a little confession session on peoples darkest, dirtiest, biggest most shameful biking bodge?
Go on, confess all!
Go on, confess all!
Monkey!
I may be mad but at least I'm not dead. Yet. And long may that be so.
I may be mad but at least I'm not dead. Yet. And long may that be so.
Well not so much bodges but more disasterous f#ck ups!
all on the storm
Front engine mounting bolt completly siezed in the front mounts,tried to drill out blunting every drill i had before i realised the bolt had been become hardened due to engine heat,luckily i had stainless steel drills in work that eventually done the job.
Front exhaust manifold bolt broke when trying to take off the exhaust,another drilling job
While trying to adjust the air/fuel mixture on the rear carb,all the tabs on the little brass screw broke off with the screw siezed in the carb,tried to drill out,ended up getting replacment carbs(f#ck f#ck f#ck!!!!!!!)
If the rebuild keeps going like this i'll end up in the nut house before the new year!!!
Have a good one everyone!
all on the stormFront engine mounting bolt completly siezed in the front mounts,tried to drill out blunting every drill i had before i realised the bolt had been become hardened due to engine heat,luckily i had stainless steel drills in work that eventually done the job.
Front exhaust manifold bolt broke when trying to take off the exhaust,another drilling job
While trying to adjust the air/fuel mixture on the rear carb,all the tabs on the little brass screw broke off with the screw siezed in the carb,tried to drill out,ended up getting replacment carbs(f#ck f#ck f#ck!!!!!!!)
If the rebuild keeps going like this i'll end up in the nut house before the new year!!!
Have a good one everyone!
If it ain't broke,fiddle with it!
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LotusSevenMan
- Posts: 1915
- Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2006 8:32 pm
- Location: Liss, Hampshire. UK
OK Monkey!
As you asked so nicely.
Removing a rear disc brake to replace it from a Suzuki GSX600F last year the last damn bolt head came right off leaving the rest of the bolt still in place due corrosion (See yr CCT thread!).
I had to carefully try and drill out the remains (after I had straightened part of a Dormer stud extractor trying to remove the stub!!!) and then remove the old thread. Had to retap the hub with the original thread but it was all going a bit loose and although it tightened it would have torn out the tender threads left if done properly.
So, ashamed icon on, I bolted it down with the three good bolts and put some JB Weld on the last 'iffy bolt. Ashamed icon off. Left it a couple of days. All back together and it worked fine. Just not my way of doing things but no harm etc (unless new owner ever wants to remove that disc; unlikely!!!).
As you asked so nicely.
Removing a rear disc brake to replace it from a Suzuki GSX600F last year the last damn bolt head came right off leaving the rest of the bolt still in place due corrosion (See yr CCT thread!).
I had to carefully try and drill out the remains (after I had straightened part of a Dormer stud extractor trying to remove the stub!!!) and then remove the old thread. Had to retap the hub with the original thread but it was all going a bit loose and although it tightened it would have torn out the tender threads left if done properly.
So, ashamed icon on, I bolted it down with the three good bolts and put some JB Weld on the last 'iffy bolt. Ashamed icon off. Left it a couple of days. All back together and it worked fine. Just not my way of doing things but no harm etc (unless new owner ever wants to remove that disc; unlikely!!!).
"Only ride as fast as your guardian angel can fly" !!!
The enemy is definitely corrosion and the cheapo fasteners that get used on bikes. Stainless doesn't help though being softer than normal steel.
I had a Bandit nearly 10 years ago before I had a garage, and it used to live outside under a tarpaulin. And it was ridden all year round and rarely washed. Ideal conditions for stuff to rust! First bike though, and it was OK really.....
Every spanner session on that thing was a voyage into the unknown. Being a budget Suzuki built in a factory where the workers have a grease aversion didn't help.
Even a simple little task like fitting new pads would turn into an epic journey as the little caps that blank off the pad pin holes would jam in and then disintegrate as you tried to get them out. Then the pins themselves would stick in the caliper. Cue a drill and hammer/ punch to knock out them backwards.
And the crowning bodge (c'mon - beat this one!) of that episode was the replacement pins that I fashioned from 5mm mild steel threaded rod and a couple of nuts. Lovely smooth brakes. Not.....
The back caliper was worse. The pins on that were into blind holes so when they seized in, the only option was to split the caliper and drill out the back side to knock them out.......
Same bike suffered from rust in the exhaust collector- I mean why fit a stainless set of downpipe and can and then whack a mild steel collector in between. That was bodged repeatedly with Gun Gum and bandage until it all fell apart one day at some traffic lights. I had to buy a full Motad system to get the thing through the MOT. And of course that involved getting the headers out of the exhaust ports. None of the bolts snapped but bits of the engine casing fell to bits as the pipes came out. But it all went together Ok though I didn't dare torque the bolts up for fear of the engine falling apart totally.
I accept that most of this was my own fault through lack of proper care and maintenance. The ham fisted bodging and inexperience of youth I guess. But we've all done it at some point. We've all had that awful sinking feeling when you know that what has just happened is "a very bad thing".
I would point out though that these past offences against bike are now behind me but we're all still capable of making "an absolute b0ll0cks" of things from time to time!
I had a Bandit nearly 10 years ago before I had a garage, and it used to live outside under a tarpaulin. And it was ridden all year round and rarely washed. Ideal conditions for stuff to rust! First bike though, and it was OK really.....
Every spanner session on that thing was a voyage into the unknown. Being a budget Suzuki built in a factory where the workers have a grease aversion didn't help.
Even a simple little task like fitting new pads would turn into an epic journey as the little caps that blank off the pad pin holes would jam in and then disintegrate as you tried to get them out. Then the pins themselves would stick in the caliper. Cue a drill and hammer/ punch to knock out them backwards.
And the crowning bodge (c'mon - beat this one!) of that episode was the replacement pins that I fashioned from 5mm mild steel threaded rod and a couple of nuts. Lovely smooth brakes. Not.....
The back caliper was worse. The pins on that were into blind holes so when they seized in, the only option was to split the caliper and drill out the back side to knock them out.......
Same bike suffered from rust in the exhaust collector- I mean why fit a stainless set of downpipe and can and then whack a mild steel collector in between. That was bodged repeatedly with Gun Gum and bandage until it all fell apart one day at some traffic lights. I had to buy a full Motad system to get the thing through the MOT. And of course that involved getting the headers out of the exhaust ports. None of the bolts snapped but bits of the engine casing fell to bits as the pipes came out. But it all went together Ok though I didn't dare torque the bolts up for fear of the engine falling apart totally.
I accept that most of this was my own fault through lack of proper care and maintenance. The ham fisted bodging and inexperience of youth I guess. But we've all done it at some point. We've all had that awful sinking feeling when you know that what has just happened is "a very bad thing".
I would point out though that these past offences against bike are now behind me but we're all still capable of making "an absolute b0ll0cks" of things from time to time!
Monkey!
I may be mad but at least I'm not dead. Yet. And long may that be so.
I may be mad but at least I'm not dead. Yet. And long may that be so.
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Fireman on a Storm
- Posts: 1223
- Joined: Mon Apr 28, 2003 5:59 pm
- Location: Romford
About 40 yeares ago (1967 ish) I tuned a Velocette pre-war 350 OHC engine to go racing! Having, amongst other tings, raised the compresion ratio to around 10.5:1 the first thing it did was overheat and seize 
.
I discovered that the piston needed to be reduced in size with the lands gradually reducing toward the top of the piston. Not having a lathe or anything I laid the piston on the table, took a file and rolled the piston against the file to get the right dimensions!
Luckily enough the engine then ran extremely well.
.I discovered that the piston needed to be reduced in size with the lands gradually reducing toward the top of the piston. Not having a lathe or anything I laid the piston on the table, took a file and rolled the piston against the file to get the right dimensions!
Luckily enough the engine then ran extremely well.
She's my idea of beauty and thats what I ride.
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tony.wilde1
- Posts: 2230
- Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2003 9:32 pm
- Location: sussex
in the 70's me mate had an old tiger cub 200cc.the spark plug hole got stripped so he araldited the plug in!!!! 
then,when it started!he was standing there revving it...and.. !,the sparkplug shot out into his leg...3 stitches in his knee after..the only time ive known someone to get shot by their own motorbike!! 
then,when it started!he was standing there revving it...and.. !,the sparkplug shot out into his leg...3 stitches in his knee after..the only time ive known someone to get shot by their own motorbike!! 
Fitting braided hoses to my GSXR600. Nowhere on the packaging did it say that the system would be different to the one on the bike so proceeded to ratchet the banjo bolts in. Only when the caliper one snapped did i realise that the system was the other way around and the big botlwas to go into the lever 
Rode around with one disc connected for a week until replacement calipers arrived!
Rode around with one disc connected for a week until replacement calipers arrived!
During the mid eighties when i was a young scooter boy no one had any tools to speak of so when a flywheel had to come off a vespa or lambretta they would always shear the woodruff key when the owner didnt tighten them up properly , this would widen the keyway up and knacker the crank.
This is when i came up with the BOGROLL AND BLACKTAPE bodge.
By putting some bogroll in the bottom of the keyway and wrapping some blacktape around the bottom of the key i could get it to sit in the right place and then with four big bars in the fins on the flywheel i would tighten the nut by hanging on a great big ratchet bar we used for the diggers .
No one had any problems after this and i know at least one is still running today 20 years later
MERRY CHRISTAMAS BODGERS [/u]
This is when i came up with the BOGROLL AND BLACKTAPE bodge.
By putting some bogroll in the bottom of the keyway and wrapping some blacktape around the bottom of the key i could get it to sit in the right place and then with four big bars in the fins on the flywheel i would tighten the nut by hanging on a great big ratchet bar we used for the diggers .
No one had any problems after this and i know at least one is still running today 20 years later
MERRY CHRISTAMAS BODGERS
[/u]There was a time i used to care
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LotusSevenMan
- Posts: 1915
- Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2006 8:32 pm
- Location: Liss, Hampshire. UK
I'm not alone then!!!
Love the brake pins made out of bolts. Aaaaggghh.
Not really a bodge this one (well you lot decide), but a practical solution born out of need.....................
I had a previous GSX600F that I bought and had for one month (as the other one mentioned above became available and was in far better condition).
This GSX was an 'H' reg one & had an old Motad exhaust system and the collector box was a bit rusty. A couple of times in the first couple of days I'd be riding along and then the exhaust would part company at the joint. Very loud! I remember trying to hold the exhaust with my right foot to stop it dropping into the road and pitching me off before I could pull over on the M2.
I fixed that with some 'gum-gum' past around the joint and a self tapping screw to lock it in place and a new stainless circlip. Not a bodge; a practical solution but................................
a couple of weeks later I was playing with fast standing starts. Ya know, about 7,000 rpm and dump the clutch etc. It was running fast at around 11,000 rpm indicated. Braking hard for a roundabout, blipping the down changes and it got very loud again. Chr*st, what have I blown now. Not that joint again surely?
Er, no. I'd blown a hole underneath in the collector box!
Rode the two miles home. What to do? I wasn't about to take all the system off as that would have lead to more aggro with studs etc for sure.
So, found I was able to wind a 13mm bolt into the hole. Disconnected bike battery.
Out with the Mig welder. Got to it and with some cleaning etc splattered a fair weld in place. Grinder out to tidy it up. Yeah, OK. A spray of heat resistant silver I had left from years ago and it all looked fairly tidy.
The bike was sat on its centre stand (those were the days) about four metres from mine/neighbours wood fence. Check how gas tight it all was. Started it up. Yes, pretty good but what with some revs on it. Brruuuuum, bruuuumm, bruuum on the throttle. Then a decent handful to really check it out. BRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMM.....................CRACK!
A rifle shot!!!!!!
Stopped bike quickly and thought "What the h*ll was that"?
Cut the story short, I reckon that the heat generated from the welding had made the internal end of my 13mm bolt drop off into the system. The revs had literally blown it out through the end of the straight through Motad can and into the wooden fence. Sure enough a large piece of 'dented' fresh wood showed.
Imagine that on a car windscreen or worse.
The upshot of this was a good, solid, gastight exhaust system!
New owner was a happy enough with it a few weeks later!!!!
"Only ride as fast as your guardian angel can fly" !!!
Like the stories guys. Try this one for size. Not strictly bike related but quality sustained bodging all the same:
For some reason at school, in metalwork, we were given free rein to make whatever we felt like. The only proviso was that it had to have a design brief and then fulfil it at least partially. Some kids made coat hooks. I made some dynamo lights for a bicycle that stayed on when you stopped pedalling. So far, so dull.
But my mate made a "mobile airgun platform". It was essentially an excuse to built something as close to a car as he could so he could hoon around his farmyard at high speed with a mate in the passenger seat taking pot shots at stuff with an air rifle mounted on a turret. He named it "BISMARCK" in honour of his favourite ship......
It was about the size of a Mini, had no suspension, a solid back axle and a steering column that threatened to impale you if you ever stopped fast enough. This was not normally a problem as the brakes were pretty rudimentary. I seem to remember that some kind of brake shoe was employed acting directly on the inside of the rear wheel rim. This had very little effect apart from making a terrible screeching noise.
It was "powered" by a CB250 Superdream engine. This was welded down directly behind the driver and was linked to a sprocket welded directly to the solid rear axle. This was not welded on squarely and so wobbled as it rotated.
There was a frightening array of linkages that went from the crappy attempt at pedals back to the engine. These sometimes had the desired effect.
The fuel was supplied from a gravity fed system made from an old tin Castrol can. It used to leak.
The miracle of this was that Bismarck actually ran sometimes and nobody was ever killed by it. He got a grade C for it as officially "it didn't meet the design brief as the airgun was never actually mounted". But I reckon that Mr Briggs the teacher was terrified of encouraging him too much in case we thought it was a good job well done.
Bismarck was trailered back to my mate's house where we used to fettle it in between drinking cheap beer. The engine was awful but through ingenuity and enthusiasm, we tuned it up. Well actually we welded a spark plug into the hole as it totally stripped the threads and we didn't have any helicoils or any idea what to do with them even if we had one.
We got the old fella working nicely and took it for a drive along a farm track. Having the original gearbox meant that despite the lack of power it was actually capable of quite high speeds. Speed was more limited by the lack of differential in the axle, the absence of supension and the peculiar steering geometry.
We were tanking along nicely at about 40 mph when there was a colossal bang. The engine cut out and we crashed into a ditch...... Luckily we were unhurt. But it turned out that what had happened was that the rear sprocket had come unwelded from the back axle, thrown the chain, which then snapped, flailing around wildly until the sudden decrease in load on the engine caused it to over rev massively blasting the spark plug out of it's welded hole. Petrol was pissing everywhere so we ran away!
It's probably still there.............
Merry christmas all!
For some reason at school, in metalwork, we were given free rein to make whatever we felt like. The only proviso was that it had to have a design brief and then fulfil it at least partially. Some kids made coat hooks. I made some dynamo lights for a bicycle that stayed on when you stopped pedalling. So far, so dull.
But my mate made a "mobile airgun platform". It was essentially an excuse to built something as close to a car as he could so he could hoon around his farmyard at high speed with a mate in the passenger seat taking pot shots at stuff with an air rifle mounted on a turret. He named it "BISMARCK" in honour of his favourite ship......
It was about the size of a Mini, had no suspension, a solid back axle and a steering column that threatened to impale you if you ever stopped fast enough. This was not normally a problem as the brakes were pretty rudimentary. I seem to remember that some kind of brake shoe was employed acting directly on the inside of the rear wheel rim. This had very little effect apart from making a terrible screeching noise.
It was "powered" by a CB250 Superdream engine. This was welded down directly behind the driver and was linked to a sprocket welded directly to the solid rear axle. This was not welded on squarely and so wobbled as it rotated.
There was a frightening array of linkages that went from the crappy attempt at pedals back to the engine. These sometimes had the desired effect.
The fuel was supplied from a gravity fed system made from an old tin Castrol can. It used to leak.
The miracle of this was that Bismarck actually ran sometimes and nobody was ever killed by it. He got a grade C for it as officially "it didn't meet the design brief as the airgun was never actually mounted". But I reckon that Mr Briggs the teacher was terrified of encouraging him too much in case we thought it was a good job well done.
Bismarck was trailered back to my mate's house where we used to fettle it in between drinking cheap beer. The engine was awful but through ingenuity and enthusiasm, we tuned it up. Well actually we welded a spark plug into the hole as it totally stripped the threads and we didn't have any helicoils or any idea what to do with them even if we had one.
We got the old fella working nicely and took it for a drive along a farm track. Having the original gearbox meant that despite the lack of power it was actually capable of quite high speeds. Speed was more limited by the lack of differential in the axle, the absence of supension and the peculiar steering geometry.
We were tanking along nicely at about 40 mph when there was a colossal bang. The engine cut out and we crashed into a ditch...... Luckily we were unhurt. But it turned out that what had happened was that the rear sprocket had come unwelded from the back axle, thrown the chain, which then snapped, flailing around wildly until the sudden decrease in load on the engine caused it to over rev massively blasting the spark plug out of it's welded hole. Petrol was pissing everywhere so we ran away!
It's probably still there.............
Merry christmas all!
Monkey!
I may be mad but at least I'm not dead. Yet. And long may that be so.
I may be mad but at least I'm not dead. Yet. And long may that be so.
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LotusSevenMan
- Posts: 1915
- Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2006 8:32 pm
- Location: Liss, Hampshire. UK
I haven't laughed so much in ages
It's that innocence of youth without thought for safety that makes me
Thanks for sharing that one!!!!!!!!
Slightly off topic but bike related nonetheless. I'll share it with you:-
My brother Nick found an old Raleigh Runabout (see
http://www.classic-wheels.co.uk/old_ral ... mopeds.htm ) in the
ederley lady next doors garage when clearing it out. It had been hers sons
and she gave it to Nick as a thankyou for all the clearing work. He was
about 11 or 12. My brother wanted to work on it but Dad took on the project
of restoring it; actually it needed very little work and almost ran straight
away. It had new lights put on it by him and front brake blocks (it has
pushbike front brakes and a drum rear) and he got an MOT for it!!!
It then went downhill from there, literally! We lived on an unadopted road
that was just dust and dirt (and was only tarmaced about three years ago!).
Nick used to go bombing up the slight hill around the windy bends and just
enjoy flying back down raising as much dust as he could! He always wore the
same jacket and wellies; lived in 'em!
He was showing off to me one day doing 'broadies'. Ya know, kinda foot out,
rear end out like speedway riders. I said I could do better than that
(sibling rivalry and all that).
I came down the road and then outside our house did a superb slide. On the
limits a bit but a real cracker.
Nick had to go one better of course. He went way up the road past a slightly
tricky 'S' bend and then lost from sight.
I heard him though!!!! Winding it up he came down the road flat out. With
his light weight I suspect about 30-35mph. He threw it into a broadie. Now
you've seen the cartoon fights with a dust ball and arms and legs punching
out at all directions? This is where they got the idea for it!!!!! Laugh or
what? I couldn't move. Hysterical. He might have hurt himself or something
but I just couldn't move at all. In fact I'm laughing now at the memory.
Needless to say the mopeds lights went for a burton etc,
On another occasion he had dug a large dip in the garden (it was a fair size
garden) and was riding it through the dip etc. Trying to pop wheelies on a
Raleigh Runabout was only really possible with an induced bump to help lift
it and a good pull back! I was watching and he got cocky and decided for the
first time to ride ACROSS the dip. Front wheel dropped in and just stuck!
Nick sailing oh so gracefully over the handlebars made me LOVL again.
The worst though was when Mum asked if I could find Nick as he'd "been gone
for hours" up the road. I wasn't about to walk it (no change there then) so
got on my beloved GT250M and with jeans and shirt & no helmet; unadopted
road ya see, rode up the road to see where he was. I could hear him. The
sound was getting closer. Where is
he...............................................only to be confronted with
this suicidal, welly wearing speed demon coming through the 'S' bends flat
out on the wrong side of the road (thank g*d I wasn't in a car). Whack! He
actually knocked me off!!! The thing is the s*d stayed on his Runabout and
thought once he'd come to a stop it was very funny. There's me laying flat
out in the dust wondering if my gorgeous bike has any damage at all &
there's this grinning idiot doubling up!!!!
Revenge for all the other times I guess. No real bike damage for mine. Just
a slight mark on the indicator if IRC.
Wonder what happened to that Runabout?
It's that innocence of youth without thought for safety that makes me
Thanks for sharing that one!!!!!!!!
Slightly off topic but bike related nonetheless. I'll share it with you:-
My brother Nick found an old Raleigh Runabout (see
http://www.classic-wheels.co.uk/old_ral ... mopeds.htm ) in the
ederley lady next doors garage when clearing it out. It had been hers sons
and she gave it to Nick as a thankyou for all the clearing work. He was
about 11 or 12. My brother wanted to work on it but Dad took on the project
of restoring it; actually it needed very little work and almost ran straight
away. It had new lights put on it by him and front brake blocks (it has
pushbike front brakes and a drum rear) and he got an MOT for it!!!
It then went downhill from there, literally! We lived on an unadopted road
that was just dust and dirt (and was only tarmaced about three years ago!).
Nick used to go bombing up the slight hill around the windy bends and just
enjoy flying back down raising as much dust as he could! He always wore the
same jacket and wellies; lived in 'em!
He was showing off to me one day doing 'broadies'. Ya know, kinda foot out,
rear end out like speedway riders. I said I could do better than that
(sibling rivalry and all that).
I came down the road and then outside our house did a superb slide. On the
limits a bit but a real cracker.
Nick had to go one better of course. He went way up the road past a slightly
tricky 'S' bend and then lost from sight.
I heard him though!!!! Winding it up he came down the road flat out. With
his light weight I suspect about 30-35mph. He threw it into a broadie. Now
you've seen the cartoon fights with a dust ball and arms and legs punching
out at all directions? This is where they got the idea for it!!!!! Laugh or
what? I couldn't move. Hysterical. He might have hurt himself or something
but I just couldn't move at all. In fact I'm laughing now at the memory.
Needless to say the mopeds lights went for a burton etc,
On another occasion he had dug a large dip in the garden (it was a fair size
garden) and was riding it through the dip etc. Trying to pop wheelies on a
Raleigh Runabout was only really possible with an induced bump to help lift
it and a good pull back! I was watching and he got cocky and decided for the
first time to ride ACROSS the dip. Front wheel dropped in and just stuck!
Nick sailing oh so gracefully over the handlebars made me LOVL again.
The worst though was when Mum asked if I could find Nick as he'd "been gone
for hours" up the road. I wasn't about to walk it (no change there then) so
got on my beloved GT250M and with jeans and shirt & no helmet; unadopted
road ya see, rode up the road to see where he was. I could hear him. The
sound was getting closer. Where is
he...............................................only to be confronted with
this suicidal, welly wearing speed demon coming through the 'S' bends flat
out on the wrong side of the road (thank g*d I wasn't in a car). Whack! He
actually knocked me off!!! The thing is the s*d stayed on his Runabout and
thought once he'd come to a stop it was very funny. There's me laying flat
out in the dust wondering if my gorgeous bike has any damage at all &
there's this grinning idiot doubling up!!!!
Revenge for all the other times I guess. No real bike damage for mine. Just
a slight mark on the indicator if IRC.
Wonder what happened to that Runabout?
"Only ride as fast as your guardian angel can fly" !!!
-
LotusSevenMan
- Posts: 1915
- Joined: Wed Sep 06, 2006 8:32 pm
- Location: Liss, Hampshire. UK