As you say it looks like you bought a lemon if all of the above applies to your bike. You can tell from the replies that there is a lot of passion for the FireStorm, hell that's why I set up this forum in the first place!
I did 24k miles on my Storm and apart from replacing parts due to general wear and tear that would affect any bike the only major problem I had was when the front cam chain tensioner failed whilst I was riding it. In the end the only reason I sold the bike was because of the scare I got when the tensioner failed.
I would agree that the FireStorm does take a bit of time to get used to when switching from other cutting edge machinery that any fool can ride. Yes, again as with most bikes, the Storm does benifit from having the suspension sorted. Hell, I reworked the forks on my current bike ( 600Bandit ) within 6 months of buying it and it has less than 200 miles on the clock when I got it.
Like any bike, when ridden hard the storm will go through rear tyres. One of the sets of tyres I had on my Storm were Pirelli GTS touring tyres. I used to get around 4k miles out of a rear. At the same time a friend was running the same tyres on a Yamaha thundercat and got less than 2k miles out of his rear!
As for the chain life, look after it and it will look after you!
One of the things that make the Firestorm such a bargain bike, especially in the UK, is the fact that it has an insurance rating of group 14 which puts it along side most 600 sports bikes and for the same insurance premium I know which bike I'd rather have! The savings in premiums I made were worth a few of sets of tyres a year compared to insuring any other large capacity sports bike.
In my opinion, as a road bike, it is one of the most underrated bikes on the market ( along side my humbe 600 Bandit of course

Guess I should get back to my day job now!
Al.