Corporate lessons

[iggy1966]

> > CORPORATE LESSON 1
> >
> > A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up
> > her
> > shower when the doorbell rings. After a few seconds of arguing
> over
> > which one should go and answer the doorbell, the wife gives up,
> > quickly
> > wraps herself up in a towel and runs downstairs.
> >
> > When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door
> neighbour.
> > Before she says a word, Bob says "I'll give you 800 pounds to drop
>
> > that
> > towel that you have on."
> >
> > After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands
> > naked in front of Bob. After a moment or two, Bob hands her £800
> > and
> > leaves.
> >
> > Confused, but excited about her good fortune, the woman wraps back
>
> > up
> > in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets back to the
> > bathroom,
> > her husband asks from the shower, "Who was that?"
> >
> > "It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies.
> >
> > "Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the 800 quid
>
> > he
> > owes me?"
> >
> > MORAL OF THE STORY
> > If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk in
>
> > time with your stockholders, you may be in a position to prevent
> > avoidable exposure.
> >
> >
> >
> > CORPORATE LESSON 2
> >
> > A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road,
> he
> > stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and
> > crossed her legs, forcing her gown to open and reveal a lovely
> leg.
> > The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After
> controlling
> > the
> > car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
> >
> > The nun looked at him and immediately said, "Father, remember
> Psalm
> > 129."
> >
> > The priest was flustered and apologized profusely. He forced
> himself
> > to remove his hand. However, he was unable to remove his eyes from
>
> > her leg.
> >
> > Further on while changing gear, he let his hand slide up her leg
> > again.
> > The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129." Once again
> > the
> > priest apologized. "Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is weak."
> >
> > Arriving at the convent, the nun got out, gave him a meaningful
> > glance
> > and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest
> rushed
> > to
> > retrieve a Bible and looked up Psalm 129.
> >
> > It said, "Go forth and seek; further up, you will find glory."
> >
> > MORAL OF THE STORY
> > Always be well informed in your job, or you may miss a great
> > opportunity.
> >
> >
> >
> > CORPORATE LESSON 3
> > A sales rep, an administration clerk and the manager are walking
> to
> > lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie
> > comes out
> > in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three
> > wishes, so
> > I'll give each of you one wish."
> >
> > "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the
> > Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof!
> > She's
> > gone.
> >
> > In astonishment, "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want
> to
> > be
> > in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an
> > endless
> > supply of pina coladas and the love of my life." Poof! He's gone.
> >
> > "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says,
> "I
> > want those two back in the office after lunch."
> >
> > MORAL OF THE STORY
> > Always let your boss have the first say.