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sorry for your loss (I lost my mother three months ago....)

Sorry to hear this Al . November 4th will be ,5 years anniversary of my mum going and I often think of her. Condolences to you all

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Thanks lads. Yesterday was tough as I could see the pain that my family and her partner were in first hand and that hit me harder than my own feelings. Today is better even though we did all the sh1t stuff like collecting the death certificate , registering the death and formalising the funeral arrangements.

Perhaps it was seeing her in the chapel of rest looking so peaceful and saying my thoughts and having a cry, or perhaps it was being there with all the nearest and dearest but I feel more at peace today.


Your words and wishes have been a great source of strength, especially remembering flatty threatening to drop me in it with my mum. You got me good you old git.

You're welcome Al

grumpyfrog wrote:I've started to look on things in a different light now, and thinking of back to when we all descended for a brew at your mum's I could tell that she was immensely proud you turning up with a bunch of reprobates all out enjoying ourselves.
Think she was happier when we all left also....

I can't help feeling a bit envious that, not only do you have mates to ride with but that they were involved with your family and got to meet your mom. What a great way to live for you, for them and for her.

What a fantastic lady , was glad i met her , a typical Scot loving warm ,friendly,happy , so sorry Al , all our condolences mate , I bet she had a lovely life if tough but she obviously loved her kids, remember the good times , love ady.

It's a bit weird, but we know each other better on this forum than with some mates I hang around with locally. I never met your mum, but I'm sorry for your family, and although words can't heal the pain knowing that others feel for you helps a little, as does time.

My wife and daughter are currently off visiting my mother for me as I have to work weekdays and they can get time off, but this has made me cancel plans to lay a few more paving slabs and watch some telly racing in peace and get off my sorry butt and go visit even if it's for a few hours.
She hasn't seen the 2 yet, so that'll cheer her up, probably.

Funnily enough Tony, I'm in a similar boat, sort of...
My mum and dad split up a couple of years ago (they're both early 60s). Turned out my mum had been having an affair for a couple of years.
I hated her so much, so I took my dad's side. I see my dad all the time, but I cut all ties with my mum and pretty much her whole side of the family.
It has been bothering me a bit of the last couple of years, I don't know how to describe it. I hate her so much, but, she's still my mum
I could forgive her for leaving my dad, people grow apart. I don't forgive what she did in terms of having an affair, I don't know that I will.

Anyway after reading this, I invited her round to come and see Sophia (my 2 yr old daughter), and she did, today.
It wasn't as hard as I had imagined to see her again, I was perfectly civil and I feel better for having at least seen her for a short while.
Not sure how it'll end up, whether I'll see her again for a while or not, but I feel a bit better inside anyway.

Thanks again boys.

Your words help a lot, as does me just telling you how I feel on here.

You are my 3rd family, but I am so glad I took the detour to her house when we were up here in the summer, it got me time to catch up With her and it made a momentary connection between the two worlds... if that makes any sense.

Ziggy, I am glad you invited your mum over and started the process to Make peace. Small steps and all that.

Tony, I hope your mum liked the 2

AMCQ46 wrote:
Tony, I hope your mum liked the 2

She thought the colour scheme was a bit bright for me.....I tend to agree

Ah man.. that's awful news. Sorry to hear of your loss

thanks to everyone for their kind comments and good memories, it all helps.

Funeral is Thursday, so That will be the next big test.

Sorry for your loss Al.

Sorry to hear about your loss.

My father passed away and the system feels very cold, a lot of people ( on the paper work side of things ) say sorry for your loss but it kind of feels hollow and unfair, there's no time for grieving when your going through the process from death to funeral, and even afterwards as you try to put all the house in order and debtors crawl out of the wood work to take their pound of flesh.

If you want any advice ask me or Wicky, it seems both of us have been through the process. nothing is straight forward and even now the last piece of the jigsaw for me is being put in place and that is putting his house in my name so that his friend of 30+ years has somewhere to live.

It's hard but be strong tomorrow mate , we are all thinking of you and your family , all our condolences, ady.