14. Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15. If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything, and you shouldn't be looking.
16. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game (can explain offside rule or LBW) and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17. A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18. Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both - that's just greedy.
19. If you compliment a bloke on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20. Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a mate of yours, except if she's withholding Sex pending your response.
21. Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
a. Yeah, Baby, Push it!
b. C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
c. Another set and we can hit the showers!
22. Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e. both urinating, both waiting in line, etc and all talk must be kept to an absolute bare minimum. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
23. Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have Sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
24. The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal 'drunken monkey Sex', the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was, occurs.
25. It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
26. Thou shalt not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, orange or sky blue. And never give it a name.
27. The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets a Play station 3. End of story.
28. There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
