Useful dictionary

Got any jokes? Add your favourite ones here, for all to share :)
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iggy1966
Posts: 2052
Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2003 9:05 am
Location: Hull (Cottingham)

Useful dictionary

Post by iggy1966 »

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

> > >

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe =  No

4. We  need = I want..

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = I need to complain

7. Sure, go ahead =  I don't want you to

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset =  Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you're  dead

11. You  have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I  have flabby thighs

13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a  lot

14. Do  you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive

15. It's your decision = The  correct decision should be obvious  by now

16. You're  certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever  think
about?





MEN'S ENGLISH:

> > >

1. I am hungry = I am  hungry

2. I  am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you =  Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. What's wrong? = I guess  sex is out of the question

8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Can I  call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd  like to have sex with you

11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

12. Will  you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have
sex with you

13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with
you within the next 3 mins.

14. Let's talk = I am trying to impress  you by showing that I am  a deep
person and then I'd like to have sex with you.

15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
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Badger
Posts: 376
Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2003 8:42 pm
Location: Halesowen West Mids

Post by Badger »

Spot on mate :D :D
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