we're all going to die. tomorrow :/

benny hedges · Post by **benny hedges** » Fri May 20, 2011 11:56 am

ah well, it was good while it lasted - the world i mean.

apparently, according to various religious groups around the world, all creation is going to end tomorrow.
or at least start to end (if that makes sense)

obviously i am a bit pissed off about this as
a) i'm just about to start a new job
b) i've just got my claim agreed for my off
c) i'll be out on the firestorm forum annual jolly and as i have power ones on, a major flood will affect my grip and therefore spoil the fun.

why do worlds always end just before payday? bloody inconsiderate imo.

anyway, the basis for this claim is not backed by any geological or astrological study, but it does happen to be (allegedly) the 7000th anniversary of the biblical flood, in which noah purportedly single handedly built an ocean going liner out of wet trees then magically traversed the globe and stuffed it with one pair of each animal.
(which makes me wonder... as some creatures are hermaphroditic and can procreate without a mate, why take 2 of them?_)
i personally find that bit hard to believe, having tried to catch animals myself for my own personal gratification, without much success.

but anyway.
a few minutes ago i got a knock on the door from a gentleman wearing a christian aid tabbard.... how surprised was i when he announced he was from christian aid....

he offered me an envelope and asked me if i'd like to give.

resisting the temtation to say at this moment in time, given the fact ive just been sacked, i would much prefer to receive than give, instead i asked if he was from the same christians that have just broke the news that we're all going to die tomorrow.

his answer was that if i was a believer, my soul would go to heaven.
i said no offence mate, but that still means im going to die, and my wife, and my kids, and everyone i know.... so tbh if you're asking me for a gift, maybe you'd have a bit more success if you gave me some good news instead...

he said the good news is that i will live forever in the grace of god, to which i replied how will i live forever if i'm dead?

anyway, i said look mate, i'm not knocking your faith or awt, and i'm feeling pretty positive atm so how's about you come back day after tomorrow eh.... if we're still here.

rob's red storm · Post by **rob's red storm** » Fri May 20, 2011 12:01 pm

Lmao! The question did have to be asked of if the world is going to end why are you out collecting money? Surely it's a waste of time?

cupasoop · Post by **cupasoop** » Fri May 20, 2011 12:06 pm

Judging by the rain I drove through this morning on the way to work I think the end is coming a day early

Kev L · Post by **Kev L** » Fri May 20, 2011 2:40 pm

So you lot are going down to taffyland on the day of reckoning. Now pity the poor god fearing Welsh who hear the approach of the horseman of the apocolypse, throw themselves to the floor seeking forgiveness of their sins and asking for a place on the big fellas right hand, only to have a large group of leather clad hoolies go wanging past on open pipes. BA*TARDS!!!

:beer:

mik_str · Post by **mik_str** » Fri May 20, 2011 3:06 pm

Praise the Lord!!! Gotta love those Bible thumpers......

mattster · Post by **mattster** » Fri May 20, 2011 4:16 pm

You've got to read the bbc's report on this:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-13468131

One guy has the right idea!!

An atheist and entrepreneur from North Hampshire, Bart Centre, is enjoying a boost in business for Eternal Earth-bound Pets, which he set up to look after the pets of those who believe they will be raptured.

He has more than 250 clients who are paying up to $135 (Â£83) to have their pets picked up and cared for after the rapture.

They would be disappointed twice, he told the Wall Street Journal. "Once because they weren't raptured and again because I don't do refunds."

Legend..

pinkyfloyd · Post by **pinkyfloyd** » Fri May 20, 2011 5:22 pm

The world better end tomorrow or I have to repay that loan shark far too much money to even mention and appologise to farmer Brown for the sheep incident.

mik_str · Post by **mik_str** » Sat May 21, 2011 12:19 pm

Today's the day. It's been nice getting to know all of you......

gordthebiker · Post by **gordthebiker** » Sat May 21, 2011 1:54 pm

How does it work for me being ahead of you guys here in Japan? It's a bit windy but doesn't look to bad out. I guess I get to die in my sleep?

marravtr · Post by **marravtr** » Sat May 21, 2011 2:00 pm

ahh feck! i've just washed me bike!!

lloydie · Post by **lloydie** » Sat May 21, 2011 4:33 pm

im still here , am i alone lol

tinysmall · Post by **tinysmall** » Sat May 21, 2011 7:36 pm

Im not here. Apparently none of us are. We're all dead together which means that I suppose we are here but the here has changed from the there to here.

Kev L · Post by **Kev L** » Sat May 21, 2011 7:50 pm

Just as I suspected we have moved into an alternative reality. Unfortunately I still appear to be an impoverished middle aged bloke!!!
It's life Jim, but not as we know it.

mik_str · Post by **mik_str** » Sat May 21, 2011 9:04 pm

Just sitting down to figure out what I'll have for my last supper (we are 5 hours behind the UK here in Montreal....). It's been great knowing you all, see you on the other side......

Darknomad · Post by **Darknomad** » Sat May 21, 2011 9:23 pm

damn any idea what time im gonna pop me clogs?
as im single it maybe a good idea for me to have a sh1t and a farewell fiddler
no point spending eternity in purgatory gagging for either after all its
torment without relief

VTR1000.ORG