Groaner

[firestorm_al]

Tired of constantly being broke, and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a
young
husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance
policy
on his wife (with himself as the beneficiary), and arranging to have her
killed.

A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious underworld
figure, who went by the name of "Artie."
Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a
spouse
was 5,000 quid. The husband said he was willing to pay that amount, but
that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's
insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid SOMETHING up front.

The man opened up his wallet, displaying the single pound coin that
rested
inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept
the
quid as down payment for the dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local
Sainsbury's.
There, he surprised her in the produce department, and proceeded to
strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew
her last
breath, and slumped to the floor,the manager of the produce department
stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene. Unwilling to leave any witnesses
behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.
Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by hidden cameras
and observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called
the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave the
store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed
the
sordid plan, including his financial arrangements with the hapless
husband.

And that is why, the next day in the newspaper, the headline declared:




"ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT SAINSBURY'S."