Some oldies & some newies...
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in" when it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you in a movie, but on TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy some KFC?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Do you ever wonder why they let me join this forum in the first place?
Questions to ponder
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VTRgirl
- Posts: 2281
- Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 3:22 pm
- Location: Sunny Queensland, Great Southern Land
Questions to ponder
If you ate yourself would you become twice as big or simply disappear?
Re: Questions to ponder
Very good Twinne 
I liked that
I liked that
VTRgirl wrote:Some oldies & some newies...
Can you cry under water?
yes, but only in salt water
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
I dunno, but I'm never setting foot in Dallas just in case
Why do you have to "put your two cents in" when it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
tax
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
nope, the regulation issue PVC catsuits with banana yoghurt lubrication dispensers are issued immediately... in my heaven
Why does pizza come in a square box?
so the corners can maim demonstrators when fired from a riot van
What disease did cured ham actually have?
P.I.G.
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
the wheels are actually a mock-up sound stage in Area 51
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?
not when they're drunk they dont
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
yes, but the stenographer has a day off
Why are you in a movie, but on TV?
you can't have sex in a TV
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
so girl's don't walk up and slap you for staring down their top
Why do doctors leave the room while you change?
to check the cameras are working
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
it's not, pantiesies is plural
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp?
that's only for bread, a slab of human flesh requires a higher temperature. Wanna come for dinner?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
it's American
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
only if they ride up front
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
he was trying to nob the semi-cute one who wouldn't give him the time of day if he wasn't stranded with her.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
the same reason Goofy wears pants... ;)
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy some KFC?
roadrunners are edible
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
mac fluid - same as baby gravy and man fat
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
like sororities serve the Lord Of The Rings
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
the death-metal versions do
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
need to clear some flem
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass? (come on, say ass or the pun doesnt work)
never drink red wine made from grapes...
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
he's thinking of jumping cos he's traumatised by your constant blowing torture.
Do you ever wonder why they let me join this forum in the first place?
all the time
Voted most likely to be found dead in park bushes following an act of autoerotic asphyxiation.
