A young Southampton woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life
by throwing herself into the sea, but just before she could throw herself
from the wharf, a handsome young man stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off
to Australia tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of
you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to
go to Australia, the woman accepted.
That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but
comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would
bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until
dawn. Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine
inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me
food and I get a free trip to Australia."
"I see," the captain says.
Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Isle of Wight Ferry.