>Subject: snappy answer #1
>
>
>A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check
>tickets. As
>a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket, and he
>opened his
>trench coat and flashed her. Without missing
>a beat she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub."
>
>Snappy Answer #2
>
>A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
>but
>couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy,
>"Do
>these turkeys get any bigger?"
>The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
>
>
>Snappy Answer #3
>
>The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding
>rolled
>down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
>The kid
>replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop
>finally
>stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
>
>
>Snappy Answer #4
>
>A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up
>that reads
>"Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of
>him and
>he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
>Finally, a
>police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to
>the
>truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
>The
>truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this
>bridge and ran out of gas."
>
>Snappy Answer #5
>
>A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was
>rebooking
>a long line of
>inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way
>to the
>desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to
>be on
>this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS." The agent replied, "I'm
>sorry
>sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these
>folks
>first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out." The
>passenger was
>unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him
>could hear,
>"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?" Without hesitating, the agent
>smiled and
>grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention
>please," she began her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal.
>"We
>have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If
>anyone
>can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14." With the
>folks
>behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the
>United
>agent, gritted his teeth and swore. "F*** you!" Without flinching,
>she
>smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but
>you'll have to get in line for that, too."
>
>
>
>And the VERY BEST snappy answer - Snappy Answer #6,
>
>THE TEACHER Snappy Answer OF THE YEAR
>
>A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now
>class,
>I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I
>might
>consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
>or a
>death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses
>whatsoever!"
>A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks,
>"What
>would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
>utter
>sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its Best to stifle their
>laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher
>smiles
>sympathetically at the student,
>shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to
>write the
>exam with your other hand."
Snappy answers
Snappy answers
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
Sorry a responce has been so slow to your post but I'm feeling a little tired and I've had to write it with my other hand. 
