bad joke

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iggy1966
Posts: 2052
Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2003 9:05 am
Location: Hull (Cottingham)

bad joke

Post by iggy1966 »

Late last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a
club.It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing.
Most
of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only
broken
by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin.

Then suddenly he heard a strange noise.......


BUMP........


BUMP........



BUMP........


Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving
rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road.


BUMP........



BUMP........



BUMP........


He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box
Approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more
clearly.... It was a coffin. Not wanting anything to do with this, he put
his head down and started walking briskly home.



BUMP........



BUMP........



BUMP........



He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking
faster.........



BUMP........BUMP.......



BUMP........BUMP.......



BUMP........BUMP........


The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he
Heard the coffin speed up after him......



BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...



BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...



BUMP........BUMP...BUMP...


He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .......



BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....



BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....



BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP.....


Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was
Only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys.
His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside slamming
the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and slumped into
his
comfy chair. Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way
through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the
coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued
its chase.....



BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...



BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...



BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...



BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...



In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could
Take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door........


BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...



BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...



BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...


The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and
Launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the bathroom
door flew off its hinges..... The coffin stood in the doorway, then
started
to approach the young terrified lad.



BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...



BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...



BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...



In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom
cabinet...... He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it
at the coffin.......still it came ........


BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...


He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it ........still it
came......



BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...


He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ......still it came......



BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH...



He grabbed some Benylin cough mixture and threw it........

;
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;
;


The coffin stopped.
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
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