*** THREAD HIJACK ***

[tony.mon]

Let's get this straight.

There cannot be anything that is correctly called a vacuum cleaner.
You can't have a dirty vacuum.
Any contaminant will immediately prevent it being a vacuum.

Secondly, I am NOT the droid you're looking for.

[Watty]

Definitions:

Cacti: the twist closure that comes with nappy sacks.

Your turn

Indefinitely! When your balls are banging on her butt you're in definitely

[countrymick]

Justin,,small man..

[VTRDark]

Lexophilia is a word used to describe those that have a love for
words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "to write with a broken pencil is pointless."


.. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.


.. A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.


.. The batteries were given out free of charge.


.. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.


.. A will is a dead giveaway.


.. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.


.. A boiled egg is hard to beat.


.. When you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.


.. Police were summoned to a daycare centre where a three-year-old was
resisting a rest.


.. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's
all right now.


.. A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.


.. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.


.. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.


.. He had a photographic memory which was never fully developed.


.. When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she'd dye.


.. Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.


... Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.


Come on Tony you know you want too.

(:-})

[AMCQ46]

[Pete.L]

That could be straight out of one of Ronni Barkers News reports

[macdee]

class

[MacV2]

You can lead a horse to water but you can't persuade it to pay your electricity bill...

Never hit a bomb with a hammer...

Never swim in shark infested custard...

[tony.mon]

Never swim in shark infested custard...

That's the best kind to swim in.
They're only interested in the Bird's


I tried that crack cocaine yesterday, It's noticeably gritty as you walk, but goes numb after a few minutes.

[VTRDark]

I tried that crack cocaine yesterday, It's noticeably gritty as you walk, but goes numb after a few minutes.

My eyes are everywhere.


(:-})

[tony.mon]

The Mad One, Madonna.

Obviously a Trekkie, unfortunately her cloaking device was designed by a Klingon.

[tony.mon]

I got some cats, when I go on holiday I'll put them in a cattery.
If I had a dog, it should go in a doggery.


Luckily, we have no pet bugs.

[bigtwinthing]

a cunning linguist may only speak 1 language !

[tony.mon]

Have you walked 500 miles lately?

If so, have you then been advised to walk 500 more?

You may have a claim.

Call Pro Claimers now..............

[VTRDark]

After a walk like that you must have turned 50 shades of Grey.

(:-})