You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one...
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A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They
turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on the
phone line, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.
They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The
taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their
house.
The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house.
They don't want the cat shut in the house because "she" always
tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the
husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.
The wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be
empty.
She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon."
He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I
took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under
the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!
Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But
it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!
The cabdriver hit a parked car...