old school new school!!

Got any jokes? Add your favourite ones here, for all to share :)
Post Reply
User avatar
tony.wilde1
Posts: 2230
Joined: Thu Apr 10, 2003 9:32 pm
Location: sussex

old school new school!!

Post by tony.wilde1 »

School 1960 vs. School 2007


Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1960 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates.
2007 - Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated as evidence. They are charged with assault, ASBOs are taken out and both are suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Video shown on 6 internet sites.


Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.
1960 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given 6 of the best.Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to death. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has a disability. Drops out of school.


Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him the slipper.
1960 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college,and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. Psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mum has an affair with the psychologist. Psychologist gets a promotion.


Scenario: Mark, a college student, brings cigarettes to school .
1960 - Mark shares a smoke with the school principal out on the smoking area.
2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug possession. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.


Scenario: Mohammed fails high school English.
1960 - Mohammed retakes his exam, passes and goes to college.
2007 - Mohammed's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for
graduation is racist. Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and his English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Mohammed is given his qualification anyway but ends up
mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.


Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers, puts them in a model plane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.
1960 - Ants die.
2007 - MI5 and police are called and Johnny is charged with perpetrating acts of terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch
list and is never allowed to fly again.


Scenario: Johnny falls during break and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.
1960 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy. Becomes gay.


Fact or fiction?
Please discuss, but only secretly with close friends or a case of political incorrectness for individualistic thinking can and will be punished in a court of law
:D
ImageImageImageImage
User avatar
Kitch
Posts: 1548
Joined: Fri Apr 28, 2006 7:05 pm
Location: Lancashire

Post by Kitch »

It'd be funny and absurd if it wasn't true.
Voted most likely to be found dead in park bushes following an act of autoerotic asphyxiation.
Jaglifter
Posts: 799
Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 7:35 pm
Location: SWINDON

Post by Jaglifter »

Any of these scenarios could (and probably have) taken place. Sad thing is that people do not now act in a common sense way because they know the law is now a complete butt.
She's my idea of beauty and thats what I ride.
User avatar
warby221
Posts: 866
Joined: Fri Jan 05, 2007 7:42 pm
Location: lancs

Post by warby221 »

Kitch wrote:It'd be funny and absurd if it wasn't true.
took the words right out of my mouth :cry:
Post Reply