ARMY STRIKE
15th April, 2003
In the face of industrial action by members of the armed forces, the government has announced that the Fire Service will, as an interim measure, carry out military operations in Iraq.
The army, who have demanded a 40% pay increase on the basis that their job has become rather more technical since 1945, will begin strike action next Thursday unless a compromise pay deal can be agreed in the meantime.
It is understood that they will spend their time standing around little bonfires, rubbing their hands together and waving at passing vehicles who honk their horns at them.
Crack Fire Service personnel, highly trained in playing darts, brewing tea and sliding down poles, are understood to be on standby to take up front line operations. Using their "red goddess" vehicles instead of tanks, they will race towards Iraqi lines and attempt to annoy the enemy into surrendering by making a lot of noise and spraying them with water.
Prime Minister Tony Blair has already stated that the Fire Service
strike of last year proved that a vastly undermanned service with limited training and unsuitable equipment can perform the duties of a well-trained, well-equipped and well-manned professional force equally as efficiently and without loss of life.
When it was pointed out to him that the bright red fire engines might make an easy target for enemy fire, Mr Blair said, "Never mind, we've got too many firemen as it is... er, is that camera running?"
Asked for his comment, Britain's partner in the coalition in the war
against Iraq, US President George W. Bush, said "Ooh, can I have a go on the siren?"
Army Strike
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firestorm_al
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No joke
I do hope that's not a dig at your "only emergency service to get to you within 5mins," I even tell my missus when i'm on nights, if she thinks someone is trying to break in to phone the fireservice, as i think you'll agree that 9/10 hairy arsed Firemen within 2-3 mins beats the sh-t out of 'we'll get a patrol car out to you when one is free'. As you've guessed i'm one of those blokes that 'play darts, drink copious amounts of tea and stands round the braziers.'
I like many of my mates in the fire service was once in the armed forces.Believe me my friend it was the worst feeling in my life. Our biggest problem has been not getting our case over well enough to the general public. I know 40%30K sounds rediculous but it was a bench mark set out by a LABOUR research poll, then presented to the government and we asked them to tell us what they think we were worth!
6 meetings later and not one mention of what they thought we were worth so over a year ago now thats when all of this crap started. British Media are our biggest nightmare and i think we all know how nasty they can be!
All i can say is dont get sucked in by them or believe all you hear and see.
I love my job to bits and would do it for the same money as i'm on now for as long as can be.When you look at how they have "MODERNISED" the Police and Ambulance Service you have to stand up and fight mate.
I don't mind people having a dig at us just as long as they understand the whole campaigne. Just remember the next time you see a big RED one, i hope to god you won't but you might need us one day for one reason or another, give us a smile and not a frown!!
I like many of my mates in the fire service was once in the armed forces.Believe me my friend it was the worst feeling in my life. Our biggest problem has been not getting our case over well enough to the general public. I know 40%30K sounds rediculous but it was a bench mark set out by a LABOUR research poll, then presented to the government and we asked them to tell us what they think we were worth!
6 meetings later and not one mention of what they thought we were worth so over a year ago now thats when all of this crap started. British Media are our biggest nightmare and i think we all know how nasty they can be!
All i can say is dont get sucked in by them or believe all you hear and see.
I love my job to bits and would do it for the same money as i'm on now for as long as can be.When you look at how they have "MODERNISED" the Police and Ambulance Service you have to stand up and fight mate.
I don't mind people having a dig at us just as long as they understand the whole campaigne. Just remember the next time you see a big RED one, i hope to god you won't but you might need us one day for one reason or another, give us a smile and not a frown!!
