the pope and ...............

[iggy1966]

The Pope visits East Anglia, and Bernard Matthews goes to see him.
Bernard says "You may not know me, but I am the biggest turkey farmer in
Europe,and I need your help."
The Pope says "Speak my son; if I can guide you, I will". Bernard says
"Look, your holiness, turkey doesn't seem to be as popular as it used to
be at Christmas. Because of this I have been building up a stock of
extra turkeys each year and I need to start selling them all year round.

I am willing to pay you 10 million pounds a year over 10 years to change
a single word in the Lord's Prayer, to help me out."
The Pope looks quizzically at Bernard: "Pray continue, my son". Bernard
then says "All I want is one word; if you change 'give us this day our
daily bread' to 'give us this day our daily turkey', it will stick in
people's minds. They'll have turkey more often, and I'll be sorted." The

Pope shakes his head. "The Lord's prayer is a great unshakeable
tradition of the church; we couldn't possibly change it". Bernard says
"OK, OK,
I'll give you 15 million a year for 12 years" The Pope starts to soften
"Well...I suppose we could change it to 'give us this day our daily
bread AND turkey'..."
Bernard now gets desperate and pleads. "Look, this is my best offer. 20
million pounds a year for the first five years, then going up by 5
million pounds a year, and so on each 5 years, for 20 years. That's
really the best I can do." The Pope smiles at Bernard and says "I shall
help you.
Go in peace". The two shake on it to seal the deal, and Bernard leaves.
The next day the Pope returns to the Vatican, and immediately calls a
gathering of the cardinals. They gather together and the Pope says
"I've got good news, and bad news. The good news is I have got us 20
million pounds a year..."
A gasp echoes round the chamber, and one cardinal says "That is
excellent your holiness, but what's the bad news?"
The Pope replies, with a sigh "We've lost the Hovis account."