VTR1000.ORG

Dear Sir or Madam,
I write with regard to your repeated and seasonal maltreatment of my client, Mary Lee.

It has come to our notice that, once again, libellous and scurrilous rumours are being promulgated by popular singing groups, and we note that, this year, the rumours are being repeated on televisual advertisements.

This causes great distress to our client, who has instructed us to issue a formal Cease and Desist notice on her behalf.

Should you fail to desist from your activities we will have no resort but to apply to the High Court for an order to enforce our request, and will, of course seek consequential damages to Miss Lee's reputation and full recompense for the costs incurred in prosecuting the action.

To be clear, Miss Lee takes objection to your appellation that she is a "Ding Dong". This term is clearly, mistakenly and evidently pejorative, and she is grossly insulted by the insinuation that she exhibits traits and behaviours associated with her Mental Health.
I do not need to draw your attention to the protected characteristics defined by the Equalities Act 2010, upon which we will depend on our action. A person should not be discriminated against for reasons of any disability- Mental Health is an accepted part of the definition of disability.

Moreover, although Miss Lee's widely-reported drug use is a matter of public record, it is injurious to refer to her being on "high" at such frequent opportunities. Miss Lee has (at her own volition) successfully undertaken a course of rehabilitation at a leading clinic and has not used recreational drugs for over three months.

We, and our client, take a dim view of the seasonal repetition of these unfounded allegations, and will commence legal action without further notice if they are repeated at any time in the future.

Yours faithfully,
Sioux, Prophet and Retyre, Solicitors at Law.

Now there's a whole litigation issue here.

Your fraudulent misuse of a company name...

Yours in good faith.

Sue,Grabit & Run Solicitors at Law.

MacV2 wrote: ↑Tue Dec 05, 2023 11:12 am Now there's a whole litigation issue here.

Your fraudulent misuse of a company name...

Yours in good faith.

Sue,Grabit & Run Solicitors at Law.

I thought your team were all on permanent retainers to Private Eye?

Chris.

Dear Sirs; I write once again in order to uphold the rights/protect the feelings of those slighted and maligned by the re-wording of the popular Christmas ditty, "The Fairytale of New York".

Although, to my knowledge, the Pogues are not noted for their sensitivity, the new lyrics are in danger of grossly offending those who identify as "lousy faggots" by relabelling them as "haggard", in addition to the previously-referred-to epithet of "cheap".

Our organisation, Lousy Faggot and Haggard Citizen Rights, instruct you to commence court proceedings at the earliest opportunity, in order to prevent some of our members from being publicly shamed and labelled as "haggard", when clearly, some of them are not. Our membership consists solely of those who identify as "cheap", and so I trust that you will understand that we wish to proceed on a no win, no fee basis.

It is our considered opinion that the haggard members of our society should be left free to self-identity as they see fit; while those who prefer to identify as cheap lousy faggots may continue to do so, safe in the knowledge that their anthem continues to promote their status each winter seasonal festive holiday period.

In pursuance of the above I would welcome an expedient discussion with the Barrister that, in your wisdom, you select to represent our interests on this occasion. Photographs of both haggard and non-haggard members of our society are available as evidence so that the Court may pass judgement on the appropriateness or otherwise of our cause.

I await your earliest response.

Yours faithfully,

Knight, Mary and Poppins, Solicitors at Law.