These are the top five adult jokes for last year
Number 5.
A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes
into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and
says
"Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive
me."
She replies, "If your Richard is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."
*******************************************************
Number 4.
A businessman boards a flight and is seated next to a gorgeous woman. He
notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics.
He asks her about it and she replies, "This is a very interesting book.
It
says that American Indians have the longest penises
and Greek men are the best in bed. By the way, my name is Jill. What's
yours?"
"Tonto Papadopoulos, nice to meet you."
*******************************************************
Number 3.
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his
wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynaecologist
appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh."
The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over
and taps his wife again.
"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"
*******************************************************
Number 2.
Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number
of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had
terrible
compulsion. He had an urge to stick his chipolata into the pickle slicer.
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but
Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion
on
his own.
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home. His wife could see at once
that
something was seriously wrong.
. "What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.
"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my
chipolata into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, Bill, you didn't."
"Yes, I did."
"My God, Bill, what happened?"
"I got fired."
"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh...she got fired too."
*******************************************************
Number 1.
A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast
table one morning when the wife says,
"Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table
together."
"I know," the old man said, "We were probably sitting here naked as
jaybirds fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered, "Let's relive some old times."
Whereupon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
"You know, honey," the little old lady said breathlessly, "My nipples are
as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the
other's in your oatmeal.