VTR1000.ORG

but now, OMFG!

What more could you want in a movie ever?

Guns? check. Swords? check. Bikes? check. Cool stunts? check.

All well and good, but add to that vampires, supremely fantastic costumes and Milla Jovovich all gothed up and mighty fine and I think I need new pants...

I am of course referring to Ultraviolet, a "comic book" movie. Think Blade meets Aeon Flux.

But with Milla!!! (see... bluesman is right - hot Kiev chicks rock)

No, no, better... Goth Milla!!!

I think I need to go have a lie down. But you can look at these:





(and yes, I realise it's a beemer before anyone says... but I don't care, if goth Milla wants to come to my house on it, it's the best bike in the world)

Can she come to my house as well please, please.

sadly, it's unlikely as poor Milla is proper terrified of bikes...

and she doesn't know where I live, though the M&M's I keep sending her (carefully sucked and stuck onto cardboard to make pictures of myself naked in a kinda Lichtenstein-esque manner) have my return address on.

Sign me up, sounds like my kind of movie

Is it a new one?, as havnt seen/heard of it here yet, but thats no supprise

been out in the US since March - just due out nowish in the UK...

never released down under as it didnt do so great at the US box office (as did Equilibriam - same director - though it's partly cos the distributer chopped over 30 minutes out of it and messed it up...) though not 100% sure of NZ

still... I'd watch paint dry on Milla.

Sorry to pour cold water on this one guys, but here's the film review:

"Kurt Wimmer’s previous film, the underrated Equilibrium, was a derivative tale but showcased the director’s eye for action with spectacularly choreographed sequences. This follow-up, set in a similarly dystopian future, shows what can happen when such potential is beaten unconscious, stuffed in a suitcase and buried alive beneath 100 tons of concrete.

It's only 87 minutes long, but every second of Ultraviolet feels like a month in detention. All meaningful narrative is disposed of in an excruciating voiceover, leaving it impossible to underthink the first-draft nonsense that passes for a story here. Which would be bad enough if the action were impressive, but even the elaborate martial arts prove awkwardly shot and stultifyingly repetitive.

It’s actually quite an achievement that even during the major set-pieces Wimmer fails to generate a single moment of real engagement. Things don’t improve when the dust settles either, as this is when the characters start talking, twisting their tongues around dialogue so consistently bad, it sounds like a poorly translated dub track. The CG is low-grade, the characters atom-thin, the costumes clichéd and the sets devoid of inspiration. In fact, there’s so little that’s right with Ultraviolet, finding fault is almost redundant. butt of the highest (lowest?) order.

Verdict: Unengaging, uninspired and unwatchable. A criminal waste of time and talent."

NOW thats what i call a Critique...who needs to know how to "direct" a Film and Actors..when modern technology does it all for you..and you put the thing together on a super P.C...h.mmmmm

AAAAAAAAAnnnnnnnnDDDDDD ACTION.........

simon t wrote:Sorry to pour cold water on this one guys, but here's the film review:

"Kurt Wimmer’s previous film, the underrated Equilibrium, was a derivative tale but showcased the director’s eye for action with spectacularly choreographed sequences. This follow-up, set in a similarly dystopian future, shows what can happen when such potential is beaten unconscious, stuffed in a suitcase and buried alive beneath 100 tons of concrete.

It's only 87 minutes long, but every second of Ultraviolet feels like a month in detention. All meaningful narrative is disposed of in an excruciating voiceover, leaving it impossible to underthink the first-draft nonsense that passes for a story here. Which would be bad enough if the action were impressive, but even the elaborate martial arts prove awkwardly shot and stultifyingly repetitive.

It’s actually quite an achievement that even during the major set-pieces Wimmer fails to generate a single moment of real engagement. Things don’t improve when the dust settles either, as this is when the characters start talking, twisting their tongues around dialogue so consistently bad, it sounds like a poorly translated dub track. The CG is low-grade, the characters atom-thin, the costumes clichéd and the sets devoid of inspiration. In fact, there’s so little that’s right with Ultraviolet, finding fault is almost redundant. butt of the highest (lowest?) order.

Verdict: Unengaging, uninspired and unwatchable. A criminal waste of time and talent."

It's well documented how unhappy Wimmer is at the hatchet job Screen Gems editors did on it to trim down the time and get a PG13 certificate... completely guts the movie apparently, and a lot of the bad reviews seem to bore this out. Here's hoping for an original cut directors edition dvd.

From what I've seen (dont tell the MPAA) yes it's cheesy and a bit crap - but GOTH MILLA! Hello!

Apparently the uncut unrated version is available on the web somewhere

She popped round yesterday to do some painting.......





and then helped wash the car ......

Thanks Max...

Can you send her round mine after? Bike needs a wash.

afraid not, she's busy round my house having her pink bits battered til next week. I'll send her round when she's full to bursting and leaking from the eyes.

Kitch wrote:been out in the US since March - just due out nowish in the UK...

never released down under as it didnt do so great at the US box office (as did Equilibriam - same director - though it's partly cos the distributer chopped over 30 minutes out of it and messed it up...) though not 100% sure of NZ

still... I'd watch paint dry on Milla.

Ive think ive seen the equilibxxx (crap speller) movie so this may be a straight to video movie as well, the critic didnt think well of it according to a later post.. Get the beers ready Kitch, Ill paint/pant, and then dry Milla....mmmmmmmm ( I realise im a dirty old man, many years in the making but, wahey! a hobby is a hobby)

She came round again to play some tunes....



But unfortunately she had a call whilst we were drinking tea and had to go



Was it you on the phone Kitch ???

I've got bigger tits than her

Looks like she needs a good feed, send her round to mine...I'll fill er up