ventriliquist

[iggy1966]

> > > > An English ventriloquist is visiting New Zealand, he walks into a
> > small
> > > > > village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog. He
> >
> > > > > figures he'll have a little fun.
> > > > >
> > > > > Ventriloquist: "Alright mate? Good looking dog, mind if I speak
> > to
> >
> > > > > him?"
> > > > >
> > > > > Kiwi: "The dog doesn't talk, you English fool."
> > > > >
> > > > > Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
> > > > >
> > > > > Dog: "Doin' all right."
> > > > >
> > > > > Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)
> > > > >
> > > > > Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the
> > > > > Kiwi)
> > > > >
> > > > > Dog: "Yep"
> > > > >
> > > > > Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
> > > > >
> > > > > Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and
> >
> > > > > takes me to the lake once a week to play."
> > > > >
> > > > > Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)
> > > > >
> > > > > Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
> > > > >
> > > > > Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."
> > > > >
> > > > > Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
> > > > >
> > > > > Horse: "Cool"
> > > > >
> > > > > Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)
> > > > >
> > > > > Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the Kiwi)
> > > > >
> > > > > Horse: "Yep"
> > > > >
> > > > > Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
> > > > >
> > > > > Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,
> > > > > brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from
> >
> > > > > the
> > elements."
> > > > >
> > > > > Kiwi: (total look of amazement)
> > > > >
> > > > > Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
> > > > >
> > > > > Kiwi: "The sheep's a liar!"