Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't
prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting
attorney called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the
stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since
you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the
brains to realise you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit
paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defence attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't
build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the
worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him."
The defence attorney almost died.
The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet
voice, said,
"If either of you f--king idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to
the electric chair."
Lawyers should never ask
Lawyers should never ask
She's my idea of beauty and thats what I ride.
