AUNT BESSIES
"cos your to f*&king lazy to mix flour,eggs and milk yourself.
FEM FRESH
"it's hard work being a single mum and a working mother. Children to feed, crack to buy, and it does'nt help your mimsie smelling like a fetid fish cannery.
"Use fem fresh, one quick wipe of our special minge wipe and your trick will feel as fresh as it was when you had your first client of the evening"
CAFFERYS
"You'll Sh*t brown water "
DR PEPPERS ( Or DR SHIPMANS)
" whats the worst that can happen"
LIDL
"Cos your to pikey for Iceland"
SKY
"There aint half some sh*t on there"
STANNAH STAIRLIFTS
"Cos without one you'd be covered in piss before you got halfway up"
RIZLA
".....cos you smoke drugs"
AOL
" Once it's on you'll never get it off, try our free trial CD and we'll fu&k you PC up good and proper"
DUBLIN
" There's fu*k all to see but who cares you'll be sh*tfaced"
POUNDSTRETCHER
"...Are you a bit of a pikey then come and visit us. More than great prices"
TAMPAX
" you got the decorators in luv"
SLIMFAST
"You need it cos you fat and you sweat and stink and the earth shakes when you try and run"
FLAVOURED CONDOMS
" as if she's ever going to suck it with rubber on"
NESTLE
"Go on, try and boycott our products. Bet you can't cos we make pretty much every thing you like...Ha ha ha who's the daddy. We own you your our bitch"
TAMPAX (no2)
"Stops the devils treacle oozing down your legs"
STELLA ARTOIS
" Realy alcholoic wife beater"
and finally....
PLAYSTATION
"cos your bird bores you"
How adverts should read!!
How adverts should read!!
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
