Playlist for Zer0Zer0 (includes transcript of the service)

[RedStormV]

Cheers Tim.

It reminded me I haven't listened to the Cocteau Twins in too long a time, probably cos it's mainly on vinyl LOL.

Elizabeth Frasers vocals really are quite unique even haunting, especially on Song to the Siren.

What a truly inspired choice of song to use at ones funeral, well done Marty & Norma, if chosen together, it must have been extremely moving moment.

Listening to it again, brought a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes

Another to add to my list - which hopefully won't be used for some time to come.

[sirch345]

Cheers Tim.

Chris.

[pariah]

Tim, The ying tong song brings back many good memorys. Yes your right in saying that no one can not listen to it and not laugh. Hope it brings back good times and memorys for them both like It has me.
Good Find and an excellent choice at this difficult time.
Rick

[theflyingpig]

Get the songs ready, as here is the transcript from the service.

You have all shared in our woes over the past year, so it seems fitting you share in the service.

Although there is no transcript for Roddy's part, he recounted how, if he and Martin ended up old and alone they would move in together, like Morcombe and Wise, Martin's Eric to Roddy's Ernie. He also wanted everyone to know "Think, before you kerb crawl". Roddy also thanked you all for the tremendous words of support you've given over the year.

Anyway, good luck getting through this. Keep laughing and remember Fear the Spork.

Much Love
Normaxxx
' :@

Martin Ulke
24th March 1963 – 1st December 2009



Entrance music for coffin:
‘Please, please, please. Let me get what I want’, Muse


Hullo, everyone. Thank you for joining us here today to share in this occasion of remembrance for Martin Ulke, who has sadly left us far too soon. I would like to start this ceremony with an excerpt from a poem by Brian Patten:

So, how long does a man live, after all?
And how much does he live while he lives?
We fret, and ask so many questions –
Then when it comes to us
The answer is so simple after all.

A man lives for as long as we carry him inside us,
For as long as we carry the harvest of his dreams,
For as long as we ourselves live
Holding memories in common, a man lives.

As you know, Martin’s life was tragically cut short, and his death is therefore all the more difficult to bear. When an older person dies we can more readily accept that their life has been lived and has come to the expected end. But the loss of someone younger is so much harder to bear because we are in fact mourning the loss of the past and the future. It is natural that we should grieve because sorrow is, after all, a reflection of the love, the happiness and the friendship that we shared with Martin. However, we are here not only to mourn him, but also to express our love and appreciation and to celebrate his life, a life which had such impact on those whom he loved and who loved him over the years.

Martin was not a religious person, and he and Norma together agreed on the format of this funeral, also both choosing their music. But although this is a non-religious occasion, with no formal prayers or hymns, it is nonetheless a ceremony for everyone, and there will be an opportunity during it for silent reflection or for private prayer. My name is Verity Marshall, and as a humanist I am honoured to have been asked to lead this ceremony today. Humanism is not a faith, but is a non-religious philosophy of life with no worship, and no supernatural explanations for our existence. What it does have, however, is an appreciation of all that we have in common, which is our humanity, and our shared human values.

Martin was unique, and special to all of you here, and his absence now is of course a source of grief. I did not have the privilege of knowing him, but Norma has shared with me some of her cherished memories of him, and two of his friends are also going to contribute to the ceremony.

Let us now look back on his life together.

Martin was born in Leith 46 years ago. His father was in the RAF, and much of Martin’s early years were spent in Cyprus, a place he loved. The family later moved to Stafford, and in his late teens, Martin returned to Scotland, living with his Aunty Betty in Edinburgh, before finding his own place. By nature a loner, Martin preferred working on his own, and over the years he had a number of jobs, often moving on when he wanted a change.

In 1994 he decided to move away from Edinburgh and headed north to Dundee. There he happened to meet Norma, who was to become the love of his life. They met on St Valentine’s Day in 1994, and in March that year - on Martin’s birthday - they got together. July that same year they moved into his little flat in Church Street, in Dundee and shortly after moved to rural Angus. On the 9th of August 1996, they got married, a small family and close friends affair, one of the happier days in his life. Itchy feet meant moving every 3 years, living in Dundee, and Perth and then finally finding their home in the Perthshire hills, at Persie, where they would have been very happy to have stayed on. It is a great sadness that, having found a degree of contentment in his life, Martin was diagnosed with motor neurone disease, and that his decline with this condition was so unexpectedly rapid.

Martin was a person who firmly believed that you should live life to the full, and that you shouldn’t put off things – he thought you only got one shot at life, and his message was that life is too short to risk missing out on what might give you fun. He was his own man, living life according to Martin, an individual who wouldn’t do anything other than what he wanted. Nagging got you nowhere, Norma had to plant seeds so that Martin would think he came up with the idea. Martin could be difficult, and impatient of other folk, but he could also be the life and soul of the party, having everyone in stitches with his quick wit and his black sense of humour. His friends always had a laugh in his company, and there were many memorable nights of talking long over a bottle of malt.

Martin had three passions in his life. One of these was his love of music, of all kinds, with the exception of pop. He enjoyed his music most when it was played on a good sound system, as loud as possible!

He was also a brilliant model maker, with a fantastic eye for detail. His abiding interest in this field was in the arms and military of the Second World War, particularly focusing on those of Germany. He could transform models into his own interpretations, and if there were no kit models in the house he would find alternative materials to construct one of his own.

And when he was 41 Martin passed his motorbike test, the full test on a 600cc bike so that he was eligible to ride any machine. Norma called each of his bikes ‘The Mistress’, and reckoned he was at his happiest when he was putting on his leathers, throwing his leg over his Mistress, and going off for a ride around the countryside, saying he’d be “Back soon!” When he was no longer able to ride his last – and best – bike a good home had to be found for her, but seeing her being taken away was truly hard for him to bear. Thereafter he could only get his biking thrills watching the MotoGP season, worshipping Valentino Rossi: “That man is a god!”

Martin and Norma did not do much in the way of holidays, but they did have a terrific weekend in Folkestone, at a military model show, where they greatly enjoyed the other enthusiasts attending the event. They also delighted in the pebbly beaches of the town – and in the enormous doubles that they were served by their hotel! The pair had another memorable weekend, in Inverness, at a meeting of bikers; some of the friends they made there made long journeys to visit Martin when he became ill.

Martin was clearly an intelligent individual. He had a real talent for languages, picking them up easily – and speaking fluent German when drunk! He spent a lot of time on the computer, surfing the net, and playing war games and flight simulation games. Over the years he did not have very close relations with his immediate family, but shortly before he passed away he was reunited with his daughter Ashlea, whom he had not seen for 16 years. He had a chance to see the wonderful young woman she had turned into, and to thank her Dad, David, for bringing her up so well.

Since getting together with his beloved Norma, Martin’s life was intertwined with her. Martin’s last gift to Norma was the platinum wedding ring she always wanted, inscribed with an affectionate saying of his, “Bloody Bitch”. Much-loved, and with such a loving heart, he will be so sorely missed.

And now we’ll hear from Roddy MacNeil, who was the best man at Martin and Norma’s wedding.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Thank you, Roddy.

We’ll now listen to Elizabeth Ferguson of the Coctau Twins, singing Siren Song from ‘This Mortal Coil’.

Music: ‘Siren Song’, Elizabeth Ferguson

Ian Young has chosen two poems for his friend; he’ll read one of them now, and the other at the get-together after this ceremony.

ADAPTED FROM THE EPITAPH FOR MATTHEW HENDERSON,
A GOOD FRIEND TO ROBERT BURNS

Stop, passenger! My story’s brief,
And truth I shall relate, man:
I tell nae common tale o grief,
For Martin was a great man.

If thou uncommon merit hast,
Yet spurn’d at Fortune’s door, man:
A look of pity hither cast,
For Martin was a poor man.

If thou a noble sodger art,
That passest by this grave, man:
There moulders here a gallant heart,
For Martin was a brave man.

If thou on men, their works and ways,
Canst throw uncommon light, man:
Here lies wha weel had won thy praise,
For Martin was a bright man.

If thou, at Friendship’s sacred ca’.
Wad life itself resign, man;
Thy sympathetic tear maun fa’,
For Martin was a kind man.

If thou art staunch, without a stain,
Like the unchanging blue, man;
This was a kinsman o’ thy ain,
For Martin was a true man.

If thou has wit, and fun, and fire,
And ne’er guid wine did fear, man;
This was thy brither, dam, and sire,
For Martin was a cheer man.

If onie whiggish, whingin sot,
To blame poor Martin dare, man;
May dool and sorrow be his lot!
For Martin was a rare man.

Thank you, Ian.

And now we have come to the part in today’s ceremony when we will say a formal farewell to Martin Ulke. During this we can each think of him, all those who had the good fortune to be touched by his being, remembering him as a much loved and loving husband, family member, and good friend. During this we will hear some more music chosen by him, The Goons’ Ying Tong song.

Music : ‘Ying Tong Song’, The Goons

Would you all please stand.

Every living being has a beginning and an end.
For each of us, there is a time to be born and a time to die.
And so, sadly, death has come to Martin.

We are glad that we saw his face, that we walked life with him, that we enjoyed his company. As we bid him farewell, let us commit to our memories and to our hearts his character and his personality, his love and his friendship, and the many qualities that made him unique.

We now commit his body to its natural destiny, to rejoin the great cycle of nature, and we leave him in peace.

Committal

Goodbye, Martin.

We have been recalling with love and respect the unique life of Martin Ulke, a life so sadly and prematurely ended. Our thoughts and deepest sympathies go to all his family, but most especially to Norma. And now Norma has her own tribute to her special man.

You are my light, my life, my world.
You are the other half of me and without you I’m incomplete.
My Huneybunch, my Spazz, my little Fraggle
The love I see in your eyes, scares me. I not only feel the love you give, I get to see it.
When I need you, you are there, when I want to be alone, you give me space. When I feel sad, you make me laugh, when I’m happy you share the joy.

I know you don’t want to leave me, but we both know there is no choice.
You will always be with me forever, my love, my spazz, my man.

You are some guy, but you are my guy.
No one else matters only us and as long as we have each other we can get through anything that life throws at us.

You made it snow the day you left. It brought peace to my heart for a short time. That night, I felt my heart was breaking, the pain in my chest was intense and I thought I was about to join you.

I hope Death let you ride Binky and as you left, I thought I could hear you say
“Screw you guys, I’m going home.”

You are the strange man, my mother warned me about, but I would not have had it any other way.

Forever Loved, Forever Missed
I love you Martin
You gave me more than you know.
Lots of love n Stuff
Bubbles, forever your Cruentus Canis.

I would like to thank you all for coming and to take this time to thank a few people.

Sue and Liz of Marie Curie. You both deserve a medal for putting up with Martin. Probably not the easiest to care for, but you both made it easy for me.

Josey, Laura and Kay of the Home Care Team. The only 3 women Martin trusted enough with his daily care.

Evelyn Milne, specialist nurse for MND Scotland. The support you gave us both, was above and beyond the call of duty.

Suzi Ledbetter and Dr Graham Gatherer, Martin’s GP. Without you both the final day would have been much harder.

Linda Meekie of TORT, wheelchair services. Martin loved the way you managed to “Pimp his Ride”.
Clairey Hogg, of the home ventilation team. I know you did your best to help Martin see Christmas, but it wasn’t meant to be.

All the staff linked to Ward 23A at Ninewells hospital. I know Martin made an impression on you all, with his wicked sense of humour and his attitude towards the disease.

Our friends, those who could visit, helped brighten his days. Visitors from all over the UK, bringing sweet sounds of Vtwins, that brought a smile and a tear.

The support of our neighbours and strangers in Blairgowrie, in particular the staff of Tesco Customer Service, Morven, Wendy and Kirsty.

Our family, always eager to help where they could, to visit and bring provisions. Thank you.

Thank you all.

Martin hated Christmas songs, but there is one that always had him in fits of laughter, so please enjoy an alternative version of Blue Christmas.

Music : ‘Blue Christmas’, Porky Pig

We have been remembering Martin in the knowledge that we are all diminished by his loss, and that life will never be quite the same again without him. Shortly we must return to living our own lives, lives that are changed to varying degrees because he is no longer with us. As you go, reflect on his memory and carry something of him with you into the future. Remember the times you shared with him, the times when you laughed, all those times when you were glad to have him as part of your life. Remember him not with a heavy heart, but with a smile, as he would surely have wished you to do.

Norma has thanked you all for being here today, for sharing in this tribute to her dear man. You are warmly invited to come and share some time – and more memories of Martin – together with the family after this ceremony, at the Park House Hotel. For anyone who may wish to do so, there is an opportunity as you leave here to make a donation in his memory, for the benefit of the Marie Curie Nurses.

We will now have a brief pause for quiet reflection on Martin. And then
Ian Young is going to close this ceremony for us today with the words of ‘Auld Lang Syne’, by Robert Burns. During it Norma will get up and leave, and she would like you all to follow her out.

Ian:

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

Chorus: For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We’ll tak’ a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

And surely ye’ll be your pint stowp!
And surely I’ll be mine!
And we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

Chorus

We twa hae run about the braes,
And pou’d the gowans fine;
But we’ve wandered mony a weary fitt,
Sin’ auld lang syne.

Chorus

And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere!
And gie’s a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll tak’ a right gude-willie waught,
For auld lang syne.

Chorus

[sirch345]

Thanks Norma for posting the service, very much appreciated

Chris.

[thumper]

brilliant service feel as if i had been there now, cheers for that

[ChrisC]

Thank you Norma for sharing with us what must have been a very moving
service, laced together with humour.
regards ChrisC.