While I was driving down the M62 the other day, (going a little
faster than
I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a copper on the other side with a radar gun laying in wait.
The copper pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that
classic patronising smirk, asked "Runway too short?"
To which I replied, "I'm late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused. "A what? A rectum stretcher??
"And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way
up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I
work side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely
stretch the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do with a six-foot arsehole?"
To which I politely replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge..."
Speeding ticket: £105.00
Court costs: £45.00
Look on copper's face ... Priceless....
Pulled for speeding
Pulled for speeding
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
