Nursery rhymes they don't teach you

[kevg]

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Her clothes all tattered and torn
It wasn't a spider that sat down beside her
But little boy blue and his horn.
>
> >
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.
> >
Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.
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Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you d*ckhead.
> >
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "F*** him, He's only an egg.
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Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
and turned it's wool to nylon
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Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
twas split right up the front
....but she didn't wear that one very often.
> >
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.
> >
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Franky.

[iggy1966]

[tony.wilde1]

i like the pylon one best!!!

[cupasoop]

Mary had a little pig
She could'nt stop it grunting
she took up a close one night
and kicked it's f**king c**t in.