I will Survive!!

[stevieVTR]

I WILL SURVIVE = MALE VERSION

First I was afraid I was petrified
At this ugly slapper that was lying by my side
I would've drunk a little less,
I would've tried to keep my head.
If I'd known for just one second you'd assault me in your bed.

I tried to go, walk out the door
But you've been sitting on my legs and I can't feel them anymore And
now you're sitting on my face,
my nose has vanished - not a trace,
I only hope that you're big knickers aren't made of liquorice lace

I want to go, I've got to leave
Before your fat and naked body makes me want to heave
I Only hope that no one saw me walking home with such a sl*t. God the
things that you get up to when you're half cut.

Please let me go, I'm getting scared
There's nothing I can do to stop those ugly bre*sts from being bared.
I think that I must have been mad,
God what made me want to court her?
With t*ts that look like Tesco bags I've just filled up with water

It's time to go, run out the door
She's started hinting she wants s*x on her dirty lino floor
I don't think there's anything worse
Than the al-co-hol-ics curse.

I WILL SURVIVE ! - To which the girls reply..........

FEMALE VERSION

At first I was afraid, I was petrified.
By the ugly wa*ker that was lying by my side.
I would've drunk a little less, I would've tried to keep my head,
if I'd know for just one second I'd be in your crusty bed...

I tried to go, walk out the door.
But I laughed so hard at your small knob that I've fallen on the
floor.
Your butts a pimply mess, it's just a broken-out disgrace,
But I'd rather look at that, than at your F###ing ugly face...!

I want to go, I've got to leave.
Your talk of chicks and football really makes me want to heave.
I only know I've got to stop my drinking spirits and the beer
Coz when I looked at you last night, you Looked just like Richard Gere

Please let me go, I feel quite sick,
We had the worst s*x in the world and you're an ugly pr*ck
I should have sh**ged your gorgeous mate,
At least he's got a lovely flat
But no I go and trust the booze and now I'm stuck with you,
you tw*t.

It's time to go, run out the door.
You look so ugly it should really be against the law.
I'm going to give up all the booze,
I'm going to have no stupid fun
Coz waking up beside your mug,
just makes me want to be a nun !

[RQ]

I'm getting the guitar out and learning that one for the pub at the weekend!! Brilliant!!!!!!!!

[STEVESTORM]

Now that is good...and clever - whats it doing on this site?