Hi,
to all my friends, thanks for sending me all those chain letters in 2003:
* I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains.
* I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.
* I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer.
* I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me.
* I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo.
* I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the estrogens they contain may turn me gay.
* I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.
* I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat urine.
* I think I'm turning gay because when I go to parties, I don't look at any girl no matter how hot she is, for fear that she will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.
* I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993!
* I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program.
* My Ericsson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland.
* But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain that I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will mess up your parked car today at 7pm.
Chain Letters
Chain Letters
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
