The can of peas.

[iggy1966]

A young newlywed couple wanted to join a very strict hell, fire and
damnation church.

The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new church members.
To show you really mean business with this church, you must abstain from sex
for one whole month".

The couple agreed but after two and a half weeks returned to the Church.
When the Pastor ushers them into his office, the wife is crying and the
husband is obviously very depressed.

"You are back so soon... Is there a problem?" the pastor inquired.

"We are terribly ashamed to admit that we did not manage to abstain from sex
for the required month...." the young man replied sadly. The pastor asked
him what happened.

"Well, the first week was difficult....However, we managed to abstain
through sheer willpower. The second week was terrible, but with the use of
prayer, we managed to abstain. However, the third week was unbearable.
We
tried cold showers, prayer,
reading from the Bible....anything to keep our minds off carnal thoughts.
One afternoon, my wife reached for a can of peas and dropped it. When she
bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and had my way with her
right then and there," admitted the man, shamefacedly.

"You understand this means you will not be welcome in our church", stated
the pastor.

"We know," said the young man, hanging his head........ "We're not welcome
at Tesco's anymore, either."