At the hospital
- legendlives
- Posts: 165
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- Location: Auckland, NZ
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At the hospital
Of course I won't laugh," said the Nurse to the patient, "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," said Bob, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest adult male organ the Nurse had ever seen in her life.. In length and width it was almost identical to a AAA battery.
Unable to control herself, the Nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out. And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing.
Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the man's private part, she composed herself as well as she could. "I am so sorry," she said, "I don't know what came over me. On my honour as a Nurse and a lady, I promise that it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen," Bob replied.
She ran out of the room
"Okay then," said Bob, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest adult male organ the Nurse had ever seen in her life.. In length and width it was almost identical to a AAA battery.
Unable to control herself, the Nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out. And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing.
Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the man's private part, she composed herself as well as she could. "I am so sorry," she said, "I don't know what came over me. On my honour as a Nurse and a lady, I promise that it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen," Bob replied.
She ran out of the room
I like my bikes like my women - Loud with two big cylinders 

Re: At the hospital



I didn't know Marty was having problems down there...

Making up since 2007, sometimes it's true...Honest...
- bigtwinthing
- Posts: 5577
- Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2012 7:52 pm
- Location: Hampshire
Re: At the hospital
legendlives wrote:Of course I won't laugh," said the Nurse to the patient, "I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."
"Okay then," said Bob, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest adult male organ the Nurse had ever seen in her life.. In length and width it was almost identical to a AAA battery.
Unable to control herself, the Nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out. And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing.
Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the man's private part, she composed herself as well as she could. "I am so sorry," she said, "I don't know what came over me. On my honour as a Nurse and a lady, I promise that it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen," Bob replied.
She ran out of the room

missing the noise, not the vibes. However never say never!
- legendlives
- Posts: 165
- Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2015 9:43 am
- Location: Auckland, NZ
- Contact:
Re: At the hospital
Went for my annual checkup today and everything seemed to
be going fine, - until he stuck his index finger up my butt ...
Do you think I should change dentists?
be going fine, - until he stuck his index finger up my butt ...
Do you think I should change dentists?
I like my bikes like my women - Loud with two big cylinders 

- lloydie
- Posts: 20928
- Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:16 pm
- Location: In the garage somewhere in Coventry
Re: At the hospital
No but can I have his number?
- bigtwinthing
- Posts: 5577
- Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2012 7:52 pm
- Location: Hampshire
Re: At the hospital
lloydie wrote:No but can I have his number?
thats so 'gay' lloydie but i did laugh
missing the noise, not the vibes. However never say never!
- TheGingerBeardMan
- Posts: 977
- Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:30 pm
- Location: Aberdeenshire, Scotland
Re: At the hospital
Nah! - Start worrying when you hear the sound of a zip, and he suggests that there's another cavity he's spotted that needs filling....legendlives wrote:...everything seemed to be going fine, until he stuck his index finger up my butt ...Do you think I should change dentists?

Never seen a happy dentist yet: they always look down in the mouth.
I suppose it's just another day at the orifice.
If it ain't broken...f*ck about with it until it is.
TAX: 1st March 2017
MOT: 16th March 2017
INS: 14th March 2017
TAX: 1st March 2017
MOT: 16th March 2017
INS: 14th March 2017
- bigtwinthing
- Posts: 5577
- Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2012 7:52 pm
- Location: Hampshire
Re: At the hospital
TheGingerBeardMan wrote:Nah! - Start worrying when you hear the sound of a zip, and he suggests that there's another cavity he's spotted that needs filling....legendlives wrote:...everything seemed to be going fine, until he stuck his index finger up my butt ...Do you think I should change dentists?![]()
Never seen a happy dentist yet: they always look down in the mouth.
I suppose it's just another day at the orifice.
i hope me zipping my leathers up this morning will contain my sides. They are opening up due to the funny Dentist skit.

Have i said my Dentist is a "Hottie" fwaa. I don't mind going.
missing the noise, not the vibes. However never say never!
- TheGingerBeardMan
- Posts: 977
- Joined: Sun Sep 28, 2014 8:30 pm
- Location: Aberdeenshire, Scotland
Re: At the hospital
My 2nd last dentist was a young (ish) punk lass!bigtwinthing wrote:my Dentist is a "Hottie" fwaa. I don't mind going.
Multi coloured hair, pointed Egyptian style eye-shadow, piercings, tattoos, bright top and striped leggings that looked like the ones Beetlejuice wore. She was great craic. But then she left to work in another practice. Gutted I was.

Shortly after that, I changed practice and have never even been through the front door of the new dentist. And that's been maybe 3 years now. If I need work done, I do it myself. Superglue and a dremel can sort a lot of things. I got bollocked at once before when I arrived with a DIY filling: exterior poly-filla.
The young dentists understood the fears and why it took me ages to settle in the chair. The old gits didn't give 2 hoots. So, they kicked me out and sent me to a "fear" specialist. Never been yet. F**k 'em.
Yeah, I may ride bikes and have self done tattoos. I may have a stinking attitude to some things and look like a badgers butt, but put me in a dentists chair in a clinical environment and whip out a needle to jam in my mouth, and I start sweating and fidgeting more than a novice drug mule entering Customs.



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If it ain't broken...f*ck about with it until it is.
TAX: 1st March 2017
MOT: 16th March 2017
INS: 14th March 2017
TAX: 1st March 2017
MOT: 16th March 2017
INS: 14th March 2017
- legendlives
- Posts: 165
- Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2015 9:43 am
- Location: Auckland, NZ
- Contact:
Re: At the hospital
My wife is in very bad shape and is currently attached to a machine that keeps her alive.
The refrigerator.
The refrigerator.
I like my bikes like my women - Loud with two big cylinders 

- lloydie
- Posts: 20928
- Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:16 pm
- Location: In the garage somewhere in Coventry
Re: At the hospital
Nice one . Mac take note :-)
- Pete.L
- Forum Health And Safety Officer
- Posts: 7301
- Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 5:09 pm
- Location: Bristol
Re: At the hospital
:-) :-) :-)
You guys crack me up. I'm presently stuck in hospital right now and I'm just wondering if the Nurse has a good sense of humour ( And no I don't mean flopping out my Duracell )
:-)
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
You guys crack me up. I'm presently stuck in hospital right now and I'm just wondering if the Nurse has a good sense of humour ( And no I don't mean flopping out my Duracell )
:-)
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
My new ride is a bit of a Howler and I love to make her Squeal
-
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Re: At the hospital
you could be in for a shock however she takes it.....
- Pete.L
- Forum Health And Safety Officer
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- Joined: Fri Sep 26, 2003 5:09 pm
- Location: Bristol
Re: At the hospital
just as long as she takes it



My new ride is a bit of a Howler and I love to make her Squeal