A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide." The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband." The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
At the chemist
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legendlives
- Posts: 165
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At the chemist
I like my bikes like my women - Loud with two big cylinders 
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legendlives
- Posts: 165
- Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2015 9:43 am
- Location: Auckland, NZ
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Re: At the chemist
An old man totters into a chemist to buy viagra.
"Can I have 6 tablets" he says, "and I need them cut in quarters."
"I can cut them for you," said the chemist "but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection."
The old man replied, "I am 96 I do not have much use for an erection, I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers...."
"Can I have 6 tablets" he says, "and I need them cut in quarters."
"I can cut them for you," said the chemist "but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection."
The old man replied, "I am 96 I do not have much use for an erection, I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers...."
I like my bikes like my women - Loud with two big cylinders
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bigtwinthing
- Posts: 5577
- Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2012 7:52 pm
- Location: Hampshire
Re: At the chemist
legendlives wrote:An old man totters into a chemist to buy viagra.
"Can I have 6 tablets" he says, "and I need them cut in quarters."
"I can cut them for you," said the chemist "but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection."
The old man replied, "I am 96 I do not have much use for an erection, I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers...."
thats cracking.
i liked that.missing the noise, not the vibes. However never say never!
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countrymick
- Posts: 846
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Re: At the chemist
mac take notes..you know it makes sence 
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bigtwinthing
- Posts: 5577
- Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2012 7:52 pm
- Location: Hampshire
Re: At the chemist
countrymick wrote:mac take notes..you know it makes sence
Read that again it says a Man "BUYS" Viagra, that counts Mac out
missing the noise, not the vibes. However never say never!
Re: At the chemist
Read it again it says ''Paul BBT totters in to a chemist...''bigtwinthing wrote:countrymick wrote:mac take notes..you know it makes sence
Read that again it says a Man "BUYS" Viagra, that counts Mac out
Any way you philistine's I mark my jokes up as ''Crap'' jokes for a reason...they is crap innit...
Making up since 2007, sometimes it's true...Honest...
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lloydie
- Posts: 20923
- Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:16 pm
- Location: In the garage somewhere in Coventry
Re: At the chemist
Ha ha halegendlives wrote:An old man totters into a chemist to buy viagra.
"Can I have 6 tablets" he says, "and I need them cut in quarters."
"I can cut them for you," said the chemist "but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection."
The old man replied, "I am 96 I do not have much use for an erection, I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers...."