A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6."
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."
At the supermarket
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legendlives
- Posts: 165
- Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2015 9:43 am
- Location: Auckland, NZ
- Contact:
At the supermarket
I like my bikes like my women - Loud with two big cylinders 
Re: At the supermarket
This is a programmer joke.. I approve.
Slowly approaching the more bikes than birthdays achievement
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lloydie
- Posts: 20928
- Joined: Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:16 pm
- Location: In the garage somewhere in Coventry
Re: At the supermarket
Ha ha I like it
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alanfjones1411
- Posts: 2844
- Joined: Thu May 21, 2015 3:33 pm
- Location: watford
Re: At the supermarket
I'm not answering anymore. Doh
SO WHEN DOES THIS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER KICK IN
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bigtwinthing
- Posts: 5577
- Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2012 7:52 pm
- Location: Hampshire
Re: At the supermarket
thats my wife to a tee
missing the noise, not the vibes. However never say never!
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legendlives
- Posts: 165
- Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2015 9:43 am
- Location: Auckland, NZ
- Contact:
Re: At the supermarket
Young girl walks into a supermarket and on her way round she sees the bloke with whom she had sex the previous evening after they had met in a pub.
He is stacking washing powder boxes on shelves.
"You lying sod!" she yells. "Last night you told me you were a stunt pilot!"
"No," he says, "I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team."
He is stacking washing powder boxes on shelves.
"You lying sod!" she yells. "Last night you told me you were a stunt pilot!"
"No," he says, "I told you I was a member of the Ariel display team."
I like my bikes like my women - Loud with two big cylinders
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legendlives
- Posts: 165
- Joined: Sun Jul 05, 2015 9:43 am
- Location: Auckland, NZ
- Contact:
Re: At the supermarket
I'VE BEEN BANNED FROM TESCO'S
Yesterday I was at my local Tesco store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Tesco's.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.
Yesterday I was at my local Tesco store buying a large bag of My Dog dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Dog Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 10 kilograms before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with My Dog nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Tesco's.
Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.
I like my bikes like my women - Loud with two big cylinders
