Far away in the cold waters of the North Atlantic, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Sven and the other called Kristen. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Sven said to Kristen, "I'm fed up with being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten." A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted" , and lo and behold, Sven turned into a shark. Horrified, Kristen immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by her old friend. Time passed (as it invariably does) and Sven found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Sven didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Sven swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse).
Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see his old pal. "Where's Kristen?" he asked. "She's at home, still distraught that her best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Kristen's abode. As he opened the coral gate memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Sven, your old friend, come out and see me again." Kristen replied, "No way, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner."
Sven cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed." ...........
"I've found Cod. I'm a prawn again Kristen".
What can I say.............. Sorry
What can I say.............. Sorry
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
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VTRgirl
- Posts: 2281
- Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 3:22 pm
- Location: Sunny Queensland, Great Southern Land
Three American Indian girls from the same tribe are pregnant & due at the same time. As is tribal custom, they all move into the same wigwam in the middle of the village. The other villagers bring gifts; a hippo hide, a bullock skin & the pelt from a rhino.
All three girls have male offspring, one has twins. After the births, the girls are lying on the animal skins with their sons, the twins & their mother on the hippopotamus hide and the village eagerly awaits the blessing from their chief. Finally, he enters the tepee and a hush falls upon the crowd.
He creates further suspense by pausing dramatically, as he looks around at the girls before saying...
"Ahhhh, I see that the sons of the squaw on the hippopotamus are equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides."
Here, let me...
All three girls have male offspring, one has twins. After the births, the girls are lying on the animal skins with their sons, the twins & their mother on the hippopotamus hide and the village eagerly awaits the blessing from their chief. Finally, he enters the tepee and a hush falls upon the crowd.
He creates further suspense by pausing dramatically, as he looks around at the girls before saying...
"Ahhhh, I see that the sons of the squaw on the hippopotamus are equal to the sons of the squaws on the other two hides."
Here, let me...
If you ate yourself would you become twice as big or simply disappear?
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VTRgirl
- Posts: 2281
- Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 3:22 pm
- Location: Sunny Queensland, Great Southern Land
Shaun Prawn & Sam Clam were the best of friends their whole lives, even though Shaun had become a Christian & Sam preferred a somewhat more self-indulgent life-style. Long after their ocean lives had finished, Shaun found himself wondering about his friend & how he was doing, since he hadn't been admitted to Heaven. St Peter noticed Shaun's longing & arranged for him to see God.
God allowed Shaun to visit Sam in Hell for 24 hours, but warned him that he must keep his harp with him, as a symbol of his belonging to God and to ensure he would be re-admitted to Heaven on his return. Shaun agreed & set off, very curious, but excited, knowing he was to be reuinited with Sam.
Before long, Shaun easily located his friend running a nightclub. They reminisced & had a wonderful time until Shaun announced that he needed to return. They said their farewells & Shaun headed back, but alas, he had forgotten his harp! St Peter questioned it's whereabouts, to which Shaun replied...
"Oh no! I've left my harp in Sam Clam's disco!!!!!!"
(some of you young'uns might need this explained...)
God allowed Shaun to visit Sam in Hell for 24 hours, but warned him that he must keep his harp with him, as a symbol of his belonging to God and to ensure he would be re-admitted to Heaven on his return. Shaun agreed & set off, very curious, but excited, knowing he was to be reuinited with Sam.
Before long, Shaun easily located his friend running a nightclub. They reminisced & had a wonderful time until Shaun announced that he needed to return. They said their farewells & Shaun headed back, but alas, he had forgotten his harp! St Peter questioned it's whereabouts, to which Shaun replied...
"Oh no! I've left my harp in Sam Clam's disco!!!!!!"
(some of you young'uns might need this explained...)
If you ate yourself would you become twice as big or simply disappear?
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yellafella
- Posts: 1276
- Joined: Tue Sep 21, 2004 9:58 am
- Location: Middlesbrough
VTRgirl wrote:Three American Indian girls from the same tribe are pregnant & due at the same time. As is tribal custom, they all move into the same wigwam in the middle of the village. The other villagers bring gifts; a hippo hide, a bullock skin & the pelt from a rhino.
Didnt know there were rhino and hippo on the american continent ?
Its the good prawn