2)Â I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3)Â I Work Hard Because Millions on Benefit Depend on Me
4)Â Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
5)Â I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
6)Â Don't take life too seriously; you won't get out alive.
7)Â You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
 Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.9) Earth.... is the insane asylum for the universe.
10) I'm not a complete idiot; some parts are missing.
12) Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
13) I don't have to be dead to donate my organ.
14) I want to die in my sleep, like my grandfather... not screaming
and yelling like the passengers in his car.
15) God must love stupid people;Â He made so many of them.
16) The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
17) It IS as BAD as you think and they ARE out to get you.
18) I took an IQ test.... and the results were negative.
19) Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
20) Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
21) Beer ~ The Reason I Get Up Each Afternoon!
22) I Must Be a Proctologist
> Because I Work With So Many Arseholes!
23) "That's It! I'm Calling Nana!" (seen on an 8-year old)
24) "Wrinkled.... Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I
Grew Up"
25) "Procrastinate..... Now"
26) "Rehab..... Is for Quitters"
27) "My Dog.... Can Lick Anyone
28) "I Have a Degree in Liberal
> Arts - Do You Want Fries With  That?"
29) "Party - My Crib - Two A.M."Â (On a baby-size shirt)
30) "Finally 21, and Legally Able to do Everything I've been
> >doing since I was 15"
31) "Arkansas: One Million People and 15 last names"
32) "FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION. It
> comes bundled with the software."
33) "I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN AND I'VE GOT A GUN"
34) "A hangover is the wrath of grapes"
35) "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance"
36) "STUPIDITY IS NOT A HANDICAP.
> Park elsewhere!"
37) "DISCOURAGE INBREEDING - Ban
> Country Music"
38) "They call it PMS because Mad
> Cow Disease was already taken"
39) "He who dies with the most
> toys is nonetheless dead"
40) "Time is fun when you're
> having flies"...Kermit the Frog
41) "POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN
> .... Cops have nothing to go on."
42) "FOR SALE - Iraqi rifle.
> Never fired. Dropped once."
43) "HECK IS WHERE PEOPLE GO WHO
> DON'T BELIEVE IN GOSH"
44) "HAM AND EGGS - A day's work
> for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig."
45) "WELCOME TO KENTUCKY - Set your watch back 20 years."
46) "The trouble with life is there's no background music."
47) "The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson."
48) "MOP AND GLOW - The Floor Wax used by Three Mile Island
> >cleanup team."
49) "NyQuil - The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room
spinning-medicine."
50) "My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He
thought he was God and I didn't!"
I drink beer like my bike drinks petrol 
