You know you're a nurse when...

[VTRgirl]

Okay, so most of you aren't nurses, but this may help to explain the questionable mental state of those who are.



You know you're a nurse when:

- you believe not all patients are annoying... some are unconscious;

- your kids get their Christmas presents in surgical stockings & hospital pillow-cases and they're wrapped using micropore tape;

- you know the phone number for every late-night food delivery place off by heart;

- everything seems funny... eventually;

- you believe every patient needs TLC (temazepam, lorazepam & chlorpromazine);

- when asked by the doctor what colour the patient's diarrhoea was, you show them your shoes or use the well-known "curry colour scale" (ranging from chicken korma to spinach vindaloo);

- you know more about medications than the pharmacist;

- you set up IV drip systems for your plants when you go on holidays;

- your family won't let you watch medical shows because you spend the whole time correcting everyone and pointing out upside-down xrays;

- you never answer your home phone in case it's work trying to call you in;

- you've been telling stories in a restaurant & made someone at another table throw-up;

- you swear more than when you were at school;

- you seriously consider catheterising your children before long car trips;

- you baste your Christmas turkey using a 50ml syringe;

- you've told confused patients your name is that of another nurse & to shout if they need help;

- your bladder can expand to the size of a Winnebago's water tank;

- when checking a patient's mental status you aren't sure yourself of the day, or if on night-shift, the month;

- you find yourself checking out other people's veins in supermarket queues;

- you have six pens on you & at least four of them have names of laxitives on them;

- you can sleep soundly at the hospital cafeteria table on your break & are not embarrassed when you wake up;

- you avoid unhealthy looking people in public for fear they may drop dead & you'll feel obliged to do CPR on your day off;

- you pull over in a break-down lane because you're too tired to drive any further & wake-up to someone knocking on your window thinking you've had a stroke;

- you've seen more penises than any prostitute; and

- you've sworn to have NFR tattooed on your chest (not for resuscitation).

[sirch345]

Very good

[Pete.L]

Thanks... I'll never have curry again

Pete.l

[Jaglifter]

Brilliant