REGARDING BAD LANGUAGE
It has been brought to the management’s attention that some individuals have been using foul and abusive language during the execution of their duties. Due to complaints from some of the more sensitive staff, this type of language can no longer be tolerated.
However, the management realizes the importance of staff being able to express their feelings when communicating with other employees. To this end, our Human Resources department have compiled a list of code phrase replacements so that the proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without offence to our more easily offended employees. The phrases are as follows:
OLD PHRASE - NEW PHRASE
Absolutely no wombles chance - I’m fairly sure that’s not feasible
You lying b8stard - Are you quite sure about that?
Tell someone who gives a wombles - Have you informed the management about that?
It’s got wombles all to do with me - I don’t think I was involved in that project
Shove a brush up my butt and I’ll sweep the wombles floor as well - Would you like me to do that for you as well?
Am I the only tw@ here - Would someone else care to answer the telephone
You haven’t got a wombles clue - Perhaps you need a little more training in this
This place has gone to rat sh1t - The office is looking a little untidy
Eat sh1t and die motherfinder - I think I told you this would happen
You over paid sh1t for brains - You’re my boss and I respect that
wombles off smart butt - Well-done
She’s a ball-busting bitch - She’s a full time career woman
Get out of my face, dog breath - I don’t think I require your assistance
Raving wombles butt bandit - He’s very much in touch with his feminine side
Boy, are you in the sh1t - Does the boss know about this?
Kiss my wombles butt - I’d rather not if you don’t mind
Who the wombles are you? - Are you new here?
No b8stard told me - I wasn’t given that piece of information
What sort of clueless wombles wit are you? - You haven’t done this before, have you?
You’ve made a right rock-up of that - It’s the sort of mistake anyone could make
I’m dying for a sh1t - I’m going to wash my hands
It’s wombles - It’s broken but I think I can fix it
It’s completely wombles - It’s broken beyond repair
wombles off - I’d like to be alone for a while if you don’t mind
wombles off you b8stard - You are a very rude man
To All Staff.............
Cupa,
You haven't done this before have you? Have you informed the Moderators about this? The forum is looking a little untidy.
Applauded effort from the HR dept, but likelyhood of this being implemented? I'm fairly sure that's not feasible.
Still, I think I told you this would happen.
Well Done.
You haven't done this before have you? Have you informed the Moderators about this? The forum is looking a little untidy.
Applauded effort from the HR dept, but likelyhood of this being implemented? I'm fairly sure that's not feasible.
Still, I think I told you this would happen.
Well Done.
Voted most likely to be found dead in park bushes following an act of autoerotic asphyxiation.
