POINTS TO PONDER.......

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Jaglifter
Posts: 799
Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 7:35 pm
Location: SWINDON

POINTS TO PONDER.......

Post by Jaglifter »

Points to ponder...


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Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Are there especially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?


If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

Do you cry under water?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
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Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's elbow."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their elbow when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me !!!!)

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on . . . . .. .

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
She's my idea of beauty and thats what I ride.
iggy1966
Posts: 2052
Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2003 9:05 am
Location: Hull (Cottingham)

Post by iggy1966 »

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Old but still very good
:lol: :lol: :lol:
"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut."
Jaglifter
Posts: 799
Joined: Mon May 03, 2004 7:35 pm
Location: SWINDON

Post by Jaglifter »

Thanks Iggy. Thought it might be a bit old.
She's my idea of beauty and thats what I ride.
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VTRgirl
Posts: 2281
Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 3:22 pm
Location: Sunny Queensland, Great Southern Land

Post by VTRgirl »

My freezer has a light :P
If you ate yourself would you become twice as big or simply disappear?
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cupasoop
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Joined: Sat Mar 06, 2004 11:02 pm
Location: Ayrshire, Scotland

Post by cupasoop »

Jaglifter wrote:Thanks Iggy. Thought it might be a bit old.
Iggy heard it first time around.
Rich.

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