If the world was fair to men...

Got any jokes? Add your favourite ones here, for all to share :)
Post Reply
User avatar
VTRgirl
Posts: 2281
Joined: Mon May 16, 2005 3:22 pm
Location: Sunny Queensland, Great Southern Land

If the world was fair to men...

Post by VTRgirl »

1. Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th, so it would only occur on leap years.

2. On Mothers Day, you'd get the day off to go drinking.

3. St. Patrick's Day would be celebrated every month.

4. Instead of "beer-belly", you'd get "beer-biceps".

5. Military Tanks would be far easier to rent.

6. Every woman that worked would have to do so topless.

7. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack on the @rse and a "Cheers! Thanks for the s*x - now f#*k off" would pretty much do it.

8. Birth control would come in ale or lager.

9. When the Police pull you over, every smart-alec answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in:
Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"
You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place.
Cop: "Nice one, That's $20.00 off".

10. Micro tight shorts would never go out of style again.

11. Every man would get four, real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.

12. Telephones would cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

13. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed as an acceptable response to "I love you".

14. The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

15. "Sorry, but I got wasted last night", would be an acceptable excuse for absence and/or poor time keeping.

16. Lifeguards could remove people for violating "public ugliness" laws.

17. Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again ?" cards.

18. Lager would have the same effect as Viagra.

19. "Fancy a root?" would be the only chat up line in existence and it would work every time.

20. When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd get to slide down the back of a Brontosaurus like Fred Flintstone right onto the seat of your FireStorm and take off into the distance.....
If you ate yourself would you become twice as big or simply disappear?
solorider
Posts: 217
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2007 7:28 pm
Location: swindon

Post by solorider »

20. When it was time to leave work, a whistle would sound and you'd get to slide down the back of a Brontosaurus like Fred Flintstone right onto the seat of your FireStorm and take off into the distance.....

that was close to what used to happen where i live,every morning a whistle would go off to remind the workers to go to work,and again when to clock in,it would also go off at dinner time and home time,the only thing we didnt have was a slide or for that matter any firestorms (the railway works closed in 1986 :( )
Beamish
Posts: 2862
Joined: Sun Sep 02, 2007 4:09 pm

Post by Beamish »

You have only just discovered Yorkshire? Every day is flintstone day in Leeds!
I wish! Ow....Ow :oops: sorry my missus sneaked in undetected.
I see myself as a sensitive intelligent man but with the heart of a clown that causes me to **ck things up right at that crucial moment........'Jim Morrison'
Post Reply