Have I got a problem?

Kitch · Post by **Kitch** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 11:40 pm

Well, I think I might have. Just seeing if anyone else suffers from it too or anyone has any suggestions for managing the condition.

Its called MAD or Motorcycle Accessory Disfunction.

This condition I have discovered doesn't have any really nasty debilitating effects, though in rare cases in can afflict sufferers with tinitus, random bruising, poverty, ostracism and deception.

Mostly, these symptoms are developed from certain key behaviours. I've produced a handy checklist for you to self-diagnose:

Tinitus: "the missus" loudly voiced displeasure seems quieter and replaced by a slight ringing noise, but that could also be from the straight through race cans you've been revving in the closed garage.

Random Bruising: Extreme cases develop bruising during the night whilst asleep with "the missus" looking in a foul mood. Other bruising often results from attempted removal of factory tightened bolts that weren't ever meant to be touched, especially not with a short handled spanner covered in oil.

Poverty: The paralysing inability to pass up a bargain bit or the powerful draw of a mystical carbon/alloy/anodised composite causes side effects that are often considered self inflicted by outsiders. MAD sufferers physically cannot resist sticking a bid on things like "original mint condition downpipes" or similar items, despite having no practical use or need for them. Extreme sufferers bid on bits that aren't even for their bike, like VFR swingarms, Fireblade forks, GSXR brakes etc.

Ostracism: Outsiders think you're nuts. Friends chuckle at you in secret and partners develop a worrying amount of headaches. Best remedied by installing a full underfloor heating system and a folding bed in the garage next to your beloved two wheeled mistress.

Deception: You suffer from this if you've ever uttered: "I've had it for ages" / "No it wasn't the postman with another new part, it was a letter from my aunt." / "It only cost *half what you paid*"

My own battle with this condition has led to me owning a FireStorm that seemingly only has 6 bits that are still as Honda made them. I have 4 sets of cans, 3 sets of clip ons, 3 bellypans, 2 seats, 2 shocks, 3 sets of CCTs, 2 sets of braided brake lines, 2 carb kits, jars, tubs and boxes full of bits of stuff like H4 bulbs, stainless bolts of every size, paints, covers, stickers and accessory merchants know me by name.

Do you suffer from this too or am I MAD alone? I'm starting a support group and am looking forward to treatment suggestions from you.

Beamish · Post by **Beamish** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:39 am

Hello, my name is Jim and Im a MADoholic, its been 1 week since my last fettle/accesory purchase.

Yep me too.

iggy1966 · Post by **iggy1966** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 12:18 pm

I have to say that I suffer from a slightly different form of M.A.D, it's the "Oooh thats shiny I must have it" syndrome

I have tried various types of therapy to counteract the symptoms but to no avail!! I find myself looking through endless catalogues & websites to satisfy my need to pruchase shiny "trinkets" for my bike and am prepared to go without food and water in return.
The little known side affect of this is the tendancy to become insular due to the fact that I spend many hours clutching a tube of "Solvol" (commonly know to many as the methadone of the motorcycling world) polishing the above mentioned "shiny trinkets", it also results in many arguments with your loved ones due to her inability to find any dusters or polish within the marital home and all hell breaks lose when following a visit to the garage she finds your stash of "cleaning products"

Is there any cure for this disabilitating condition??????

bob the builder · Post by **bob the builder** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 2:47 pm

I've cancelled my appointment with the doc tomorrow after reading this thread. My wife says to me after the last bike/parts/ebay delivery that I was f*****g mad!

Mad, she was bloody fuming.

Now it all makes sense, mad........MAD.

Count me in on this one please!!!!

adfski · Post by **adfski** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 5:05 pm

i wasn't too bad until I dropped the bike before christmas. In fact after buying the bike a couple of years ago I painted the shoddy wheels and left it all alone.

But since I have been buying and sponging replacement parts for my steed I find myself looking at different exhausts, huggers that I did quite well without before. The single sided swingarm jobs with underseat pipes seem quite a sensible option all of a sudden and I really should uprate my suspension.

Oh bugger - looks like I got it bad!

how much can I get for my kids on ebay?

VTRgirl · Post by **VTRgirl** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 9:07 pm

I'm a MAD support person for my beloved.

Kitch, I may be able to assist in your recovery also... First step is to part with one of your braided line sets. Simply send them over to me & I'll keep them safe. I'll even send you money to keep instead!

LotusSevenMan · Post by **LotusSevenMan** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:12 pm

Kitch

This disorder also has side effects. You start to 'look different' from the average biker.
No? Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately? Your ears are more 'pricked up' for starters (or is that the tinitus?)

See your annual for details : - http://www.tonystrading.co.uk/galleries ... yhound.htm

alan · Post by **alan** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 11:36 pm

I think your all MAD i dont suffer from any of the above

LotusSevenMan · Post by **LotusSevenMan** » Wed Feb 06, 2008 11:45 pm

Ah yes; denial Alan. Dreadful affliction.

Stand up and say "My name is Alan. I am 'MAD' !
It has been two days since my last MAD purchase" etc.

We are here to help

Post by **sirch345** » Thu Feb 07, 2008 11:12 am

M

A

D

I'm speechless

Chris