Have I got a problem?
Posted: Tue Feb 05, 2008 11:40 pm
Well, I think I might have. Just seeing if anyone else suffers from it too or anyone has any suggestions for managing the condition.
Its called MAD or Motorcycle Accessory Disfunction.
This condition I have discovered doesn't have any really nasty debilitating effects, though in rare cases in can afflict sufferers with tinitus, random bruising, poverty, ostracism and deception.
Mostly, these symptoms are developed from certain key behaviours. I've produced a handy checklist for you to self-diagnose:
Tinitus: "the missus" loudly voiced displeasure seems quieter and replaced by a slight ringing noise, but that could also be from the straight through race cans you've been revving in the closed garage.
Random Bruising: Extreme cases develop bruising during the night whilst asleep with "the missus" looking in a foul mood. Other bruising often results from attempted removal of factory tightened bolts that weren't ever meant to be touched, especially not with a short handled spanner covered in oil.
Poverty: The paralysing inability to pass up a bargain bit or the powerful draw of a mystical carbon/alloy/anodised composite causes side effects that are often considered self inflicted by outsiders. MAD sufferers physically cannot resist sticking a bid on things like "original mint condition downpipes" or similar items, despite having no practical use or need for them. Extreme sufferers bid on bits that aren't even for their bike, like VFR swingarms, Fireblade forks, GSXR brakes etc.
Ostracism: Outsiders think you're nuts. Friends chuckle at you in secret and partners develop a worrying amount of headaches. Best remedied by installing a full underfloor heating system and a folding bed in the garage next to your beloved two wheeled mistress.
Deception: You suffer from this if you've ever uttered: "I've had it for ages" / "No it wasn't the postman with another new part, it was a letter from my aunt." / "It only cost *half what you paid*"
My own battle with this condition has led to me owning a FireStorm that seemingly only has 6 bits that are still as Honda made them. I have 4 sets of cans, 3 sets of clip ons, 3 bellypans, 2 seats, 2 shocks, 3 sets of CCTs, 2 sets of braided brake lines, 2 carb kits, jars, tubs and boxes full of bits of stuff like H4 bulbs, stainless bolts of every size, paints, covers, stickers and accessory merchants know me by name.
Do you suffer from this too or am I MAD alone? I'm starting a support group and am looking forward to treatment suggestions from you.
Its called MAD or Motorcycle Accessory Disfunction.
This condition I have discovered doesn't have any really nasty debilitating effects, though in rare cases in can afflict sufferers with tinitus, random bruising, poverty, ostracism and deception.
Mostly, these symptoms are developed from certain key behaviours. I've produced a handy checklist for you to self-diagnose:
Tinitus: "the missus" loudly voiced displeasure seems quieter and replaced by a slight ringing noise, but that could also be from the straight through race cans you've been revving in the closed garage.
Random Bruising: Extreme cases develop bruising during the night whilst asleep with "the missus" looking in a foul mood. Other bruising often results from attempted removal of factory tightened bolts that weren't ever meant to be touched, especially not with a short handled spanner covered in oil.
Poverty: The paralysing inability to pass up a bargain bit or the powerful draw of a mystical carbon/alloy/anodised composite causes side effects that are often considered self inflicted by outsiders. MAD sufferers physically cannot resist sticking a bid on things like "original mint condition downpipes" or similar items, despite having no practical use or need for them. Extreme sufferers bid on bits that aren't even for their bike, like VFR swingarms, Fireblade forks, GSXR brakes etc.
Ostracism: Outsiders think you're nuts. Friends chuckle at you in secret and partners develop a worrying amount of headaches. Best remedied by installing a full underfloor heating system and a folding bed in the garage next to your beloved two wheeled mistress.
Deception: You suffer from this if you've ever uttered: "I've had it for ages" / "No it wasn't the postman with another new part, it was a letter from my aunt." / "It only cost *half what you paid*"
My own battle with this condition has led to me owning a FireStorm that seemingly only has 6 bits that are still as Honda made them. I have 4 sets of cans, 3 sets of clip ons, 3 bellypans, 2 seats, 2 shocks, 3 sets of CCTs, 2 sets of braided brake lines, 2 carb kits, jars, tubs and boxes full of bits of stuff like H4 bulbs, stainless bolts of every size, paints, covers, stickers and accessory merchants know me by name.
Do you suffer from this too or am I MAD alone? I'm starting a support group and am looking forward to treatment suggestions from you.
I have to say that I suffer from a slightly different form of M.A.D, it's the "Oooh thats shiny I must have it" syndrome 
M 