Paddy got arrested in B & Q today for punching an African
woman at the till. He claims it wasn't his fault as his father had
told him to go in and get a Black and Decker.
· Experts are worried about President Obama's mental state
after he pledged millions of dollars of aid to Northern Ireland,
following the tragedy of Hurricane Higgins.
· A lesbian went for a smear test and the doctor told her,
"That's the cleanest vagina I've seen!" The lesbian replied, "Yes, I
have a woman in twice a week!"
· Paddy and his wife were discussing their sex life. Paddy
said, "I want to try that wheelbarrow position tonight."
His wife asked, "What is that?"
Paddy told her, "You bend over, put your hands on the floor then I
pick your legs up and take you from behind!"
His wife said, "Hmm, okay, I'll do it on two conditions. First, if it
hurts you stop immediately and, second, ... we don't go down past my
mother's house!"
· My teenage son told me that he had sex with the neighbour's
daughter last night for the first time. "Well done, son," I said, "I
hope you used something though?"
He replied, "Yeah, a balaclava!"
· I went to the doctor while I was on holiday in Bangkok
recently, to get my testicles checked out.
While the doc was cupping my dangly bits, she said, "Don't worry, it's
normal to get an erection during this kind of examination."
I said, "I haven't got an erection!"
She replied, "No, but I have