Two old timers are sitting on a bench outside the old folks home. One turns to the other and says,
"I'm 87 now and feel full of aches and pains, how do you feel Bill?"
Bill replies," Like a newborn baby"
"Really, like a newborn baby?" asks Archie
Bill replys,"Yep, no hair, no fecking teeth and i've just sh1t myself"
would make more use of a set of butt sliders these days