Random Acts of Lunacy

[RQ]

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car
during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a
woman had taken the space... Understandably, he shot her.

After stopping for a drink at a bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting
from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his
incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered
everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff
that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The
deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from
serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked
how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply
trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her
an examination to determine the cause of her daughter's swollen
abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Your
daughter is pregnant." The mother turned red with fury and she
argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would ever compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon. The mother became enraged and screamed,
"Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?"
"Yes, of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the East, and three wise men came. And I was hoping that they would show up again”


When his 38-calibre revolver failed to fire at its intended victim
during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would be robber James
Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down
the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.


The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting
machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to
his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out
one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out
and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.


A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly
hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a
large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the
cab, then the driver said, "Please, don't ever do that again. You scared he daylights out of me." The passenger, who was also frightened, apologised and said he didn't realise that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much, to which the driver replied: "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years